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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: silly/identity (minor updating)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ygi
    ASL Info:    17/m
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 290/149/165
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 682
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 841



    Description:
       I'm sorry if those is a little hard to follow, but try to understand that sometimes the purpose is that things aren't so easy to understand, and I'm doing what I can to make it clear what's going on inside my head.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssilly/identity (minor updating)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    the wind blew straight through your hair
    each piece seperate stranded apart
    the sun shone through and it made
    an angel out of you

    I tried to get closer but
    she blinded my eyes
    when I came to
    you were not what I found
    the dark room let us hide our shame
    from a nameless robot scene of which
    we'd remind eachother soon
    which we remind ourselves too
    much
    we get lost and out of touch with
    who we want to be
    or who we really are I mean
    who we used to be, before we were trying to be
    I mean who we really are or,
    who I want to be
    or maybe just out for an-

    i'll be your moon, if you'll be my
    sun-
    i'll be your moon, if you'll be my sun





    Submitted on 2007-03-18 05:25:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      The broken narrative style here works well for your theme. It brings the reader into the confusion of your own thoughts and experiences. For someone who wants an easy line of thought to follow, the lack of punctuation would be an issue, but I think the lack of punctuation is what drives the piece.
    | Posted on 2007-03-18 00:00:00 | by DavidHirt | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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