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    dots Submission Name: we're living a lie (edited)dots

    Author: black rose13
    ASL Info:    16/f/where do I live?
    Elite Ratio:    1.35 - 137/97/39
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 601
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 669


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswe're living a lie (edited)dots

    Why do people put everyone in a box.
    What happened to be who you want to be.

    I'm tired of living like this.
    The one time I feel good about myself
    you shove something else down my throat.

    You say you don't judge people.
    But it seems to me you need to keep my life out of this rumor routine.

    I'm tired of living like this.
    The one time I felt good about myself
    you shove something else down my throat.

    The things you say don't make you a better peson.
    The lies you tell don't make people like you.
    Do you see this pattern?

    Submitted on 2007-03-18 10:01:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      much better i'd keep working on this one tho but much better
    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah death has it's place and i don't think it needed to be in your poem.

    I did enjoy it though and hope to read more of your work.

    | Posted on 2007-03-19 00:00:00 | by Kube | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm not quite sure where this poems going but it seems a bit incomplete to me i agree with the other comment in that the beginning was a good start but not sure if it all fits as good as it could have been
    | Posted on 2007-03-18 00:00:00 | by Orcelandrya | [ Reply to This ]
      oh come on you had such a start . ditch the cop out ending come on think girl you can do so much better.

    I'm done being who you wish you could be
    I'm done looking like what you wish you could see

    this is my life too
    this is more my life than yours

    you can leave
    i'm much happier alone
    than with you

    true i could take my life
    but what good would that do...
    because you'd still be here

    something anything just follow what you really want to say.
    | Posted on 2007-03-18 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]

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