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    dots Submission Name: A Few Last Minutesdots

    Author: crazyinsane
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 33/22/25
    Words: 60
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 967
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 347

       i wrote this one 4 years ago....wow long time...anyway i found it so here it is

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Few Last Minutesdots

    held at gunpoint
    i have never been so scared
    i stand there praying
    for my life to be spared

    please god
    i dont want to die this way
    please god
    i want to live at least one more day

    i open my eyes
    and let out my last cry
    i guess it was my turn to die

    Submitted on 2007-03-20 10:13:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I disagree with rapius, i think the forced rhyming suits the style of the poem, its more likely that in the last few moments before you die nothing flows, your thoughts would be disjointed i think the style givces your poem character the feeling of jumbled thoughts before everything is gone well thats how i took it anyway.

    I liked it

    | Posted on 2007-03-21 00:00:00 | by babytinkerbelle | [ Reply to This ]
      Dam this [censored] is pretty bad
    is like the last few words b4 you die nice i like this i dont have a fav list but i might just creat one
    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by TwistedMinded | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. It's short and too the point. Not really that original, but that's okay. Four years is a long time indeed, I'm sure you've changed your style a bit.

    Keep writing!

    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by FarFromSanityy | [ Reply to This ]
      i personally cant say this is too great of a piece.... the rhyme seems kind of forced, so if you could just get it to flow more, it'd be really good... not saying it's a bad piece, but it just feels like every line hits a dead end without transitioning smoothly over
    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by rapius | [ Reply to This ]

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