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    dots Submission Name: Divintiydots

    Author: O_Mal_Caor
    ASL Info:    20/Male/Under the Clouds
    Elite Ratio:    5.65 - 15/8/5
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 599
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 503

       The second verse was the first when I wrote it: I got it from thinking about a science fiction short story (the name and author of which I cannot, for the life of me, recall). It evolved, somewhat, from that original into a perspective piece, and the verse order was (as stated above) changed.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Living with
    The heretics,
    One might wish
    Rapture, the
    Coming, the
    Cleansing of all
    Souls, and that
    Wish might be
    Sincere, meaning the
    And still, temper's

    That you are not
    The Be-All,
    The End-All;
    Creator and
    Both reside in your
    But you are not

    Submitted on 2007-03-21 01:43:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      Interesting....I think it's written from a common perspective. The semi-spiritual questions make sense with what you are trying to convey. Since you only asked for thoughts I won't give a full critique. Over all, the perspective is good, and the idea of clay makes the poem fairly cohesive. It still needs a little bit of fleshing out. Just work on it, revise, and I think you'll have a jewel.
    | Posted on 2007-03-21 00:00:00 | by clovernfoxglove | [ Reply to This ]

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