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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To See A Loved One Smiledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Acid
    ASL Info:    17/M/Newport, WA
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 103/159/76
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 649
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 996



    Description:
       I don't like this poem. I simply do not, but I put it on here, because it's the best I can do at the moment.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo See A Loved One Smiledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Atop the mountians,
    The pain courses through me.
    Burning me with numbness,
    My delighted terror, my need of you.

    I wait here always,
    As I have,
    Ever since I was born,
    Waiting for the one I love.

    The one thing,
    That means the most to me,
    The man atop the pale horse,
    The bones beneath the veil.

    The dead and rotting heart.
    One that beats for me,
    And me alone.
    My utter demise.

    I am the broken cirlce,
    He, is what completes me.
    I am but the fleshy puppet,
    Him the soulless master.

    I would reject my one and only life,
    For even the chance to meet you.
    Great and goodly savior,
    The tall man, with the cloak and caring smile.

    Carry me in those fleshless arms,
    Deliver me to my doom.
    All that I ask for, is your smile.
    I wish to see Death smile for me alone.




    Submitted on 2007-03-22 14:24:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Nice poem I like it, very visual and imaginative. I like how it feels like you put your emotions towards the poem and how I felt it and if that is what you were coming across then you did it keep up the good work peace & stay safe...
    | Posted on 2007-03-25 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the ending..my favorite:

    I would reject my one and only life,
    For even the chance to meet you.
    Great and goodly savior,
    The tall man, with the cloak and caring smile.

    Carry me in those fleshless arms,
    Deliver me to my doom.
    All that I ask for, is your smile.
    I wish to see Death smile for me alone.

    that last line just does it!


    I'm glad your back and your posting again!

    Hope to hear from you,
    Keep writing
    | Posted on 2007-03-22 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah i can tell your hearts not in it but keep it for future referance.. come on poetry's like ridding a horse. you never really forget and if you do the horse wont heesitate to kick the skills back into you..

    hgs ~shadow
    | Posted on 2007-03-22 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]


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