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    dots Submission Name: Lacedots

    Author: Twice
    Elite Ratio:    4 - 71/82/52
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 697
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 497


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    Peppered sunlight
    tickles the breeze
    winds soft sneeze
    sways the sweet smell
    of wild flowers
    gathered by grace.

    Clouds of lace
    slowly pace
    the floors of heaven
    painted a deep blue
    only found in the
    dreams of angels.

    As my breath escapes
    and my words
    walk gently
    to there destination
    I wonder if.....

    you feel the same way.

    Submitted on 2007-03-22 16:10:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "To there destination"
    I can't really tell if that was supposed to be "their" or not. Otherwise,

    This poem was written marvelously. It keeps your attention and guides you to the end. It paints a beautiful picture and conveys just the right feels as it carries you out of some peaceful little meadow somewhere and into that last line.

    "Peppered sunlight"

    that's probably my favorite part. I'm not sure why. It probably has to do with the word pepper being used in that context or something.

    This was really great, and I give you a lot of credit for being original. A lot of times in love poetry, that's very difficult.

    Good job.
    | Posted on 2007-03-22 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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