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    dots Submission Name: Your Goastdots

    Author: Twice
    Elite Ratio:    4 - 71/82/52
    Words: 42
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 681
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 235


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    dotsYour Goastdots

    Scent of a flower
    Devour the air as you speak,
    lips pursed, been cursed, this feeling I call love and above all I listen,
    Your words glisten in the breeze
    A soul sneeze
    I am Purged

    Submitted on 2007-03-22 18:43:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Over a week and still no comments? Why? Probably because of the mystery of the antecedents. Beginning with “Goast”, obviously a combination of “ghost” and...coast? toast? Boast? Difficult to know.
    Your play on sounds is terrific – flower / devour, pursed / cursed, etc. I love your use of word sounds, but unfortunately, we can’t be certain of what you’re talking about. I would guess it’s about a broken relationship with a lover, the pain of a later meeting. But the last 2 lines throw me. It seems to tell us of getting over the breakup, but really, no understanding of how you did this, what triggered the release. Did she just happen to say the wrong thing? I confess I like the minimalism, but perhaps you pared this down a bit too far.
    | Posted on 2007-03-30 00:00:00 | by fredmelden | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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