Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: whatever desires you mostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 530
    Average Vote:    3.5000
    Bytes: 549



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswhatever desires you mostdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Often I mistake the opening in my soul
    for a knife
    which is a curse for the insane

    it usually follows after every polite sentence
    and unbuttons the blood on my hip

    it was given to me by the barefooted
    goddess of dice in the space of a kiss
    whose smile tastes like whatever desires you most

    there is no escape

    being amused will haunt you forever, as am I,
    from having survived this wasted body
    and for having loved more than I could.




    Submitted on 2007-03-22 19:37:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      So what troubles you so much? Lonesome? Angry? This write seems so sad, and so deep with emotion. I must say though, I really enjoyed this part:

    "It was given to me by the barefooted
    goddess of dice in the space of a kiss
    whos smile tastes like whatever desires you most."

    I would consider re-writing this poem, it seems to have a lot of potential. I am less concerned with odds in the poem than I am with you. So please, feel free to talk to me about anything. I am always here, and could use another friend to talk to about my problems, as well as listen to theirs.

    I hope everything works out for the best with you.

    necrotic
    | Posted on 2007-04-19 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      So what troubles you so much? Lonesome? Angry? This write seems so sad, and so deep with emotion. I must say though, I really enjoyed this part:

    "It was given to me by the barefooted
    goddess of dice in the space of a kiss
    whos smile tastes like whatever desires you most."

    I would consider re-writing this poem, it seems to have a lot of potential. I am less concerned with odds in the poem than I am with you. So please, feel free to talk to me about anything. I am always here, and could use another friend to talk to about my problems, as well as listen to theirs.

    I hope everything works out for the best with you.

    necrotic
    | Posted on 2007-04-19 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      i gathered a bit of internal conflict.

    "Often I mistake the opening in my soul
    for a knife
    which is a curse for the insane"

    this "opening" i can relate to as a quality of accepting and loving,
    but with this comes it's consequences,
    the pain.
    choosing to be open,
    has always been an on-going conflict:
    insanity or sheer ingenuity?
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by audrey belle | [ Reply to This ]
      very emotion filled, i liked this because i can definately relate to the line "for having loved more than i could" again amazing write.

    <3 black rose
    | Posted on 2007-04-02 00:00:00 | by black rose13 | [ Reply to This ]
      facinating

    "it was given to me by the barefooted
    goddess of dice in the space of a kiss
    whose smile tastes like whatever desires you most "

    i can feel this verse most dearly. some of the others seem a it ambigiouse for my tired mind, but do not take that insult, only as the admittance of ignorance. but the flow and emotion behind it pulls it past what meets the eye and down into what meets the heart

    shadow
    | Posted on 2007-04-01 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it. i can relate a little but i don't feel much... mostly pain ...
    | Posted on 2007-03-23 00:00:00 | by yamifox | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    138626

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    To written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Incubus written by monad
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Linger written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry