[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Different Plain of Livingdots

    Author: redeemer
    ASL Info:    19/female/venus
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 85/93/58
    Words: 250
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 801
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1619


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDifferent Plain of Livingdots

    Chest feels tight,
    Just don't fell like breathing,
    I just stand and stare,
    Not really thinking...

    You are so good to me,
    But not good for my health,
    We're not really living,
    Because our love is under stealth...

    We live on another plain,
    One of fear and solitude,
    But for some god damn reason,
    This doesn't really dampen your attitude...

    You are strong,
    But I wonder if it's just for show,
    How weak you are under it all,
    I will never know...

    We live on another plain,
    Yes you and I,
    Watch as we deceitfully live out our days,
    Watch and look at the tears I cry...

    The poetry doesn't help,
    Your love fuels my guilt,
    I'm trapped in a world,
    That you and I built...

    My heart tears to pieces,
    As our love crumbles,
    Watch as our lives burn to ashes,
    And we fall and stumble...

    The evil on the plain we are living in,
    Consumes us,
    Our love becomes hate,
    And our lives soon end,
    We can never regain the happiness of the place before this plain,
    We will never be that high again,
    The lies we told we just to deep,
    And the pain we feel will never refrain...

    I love you sweet honey,
    But we can't go on,
    Good bye my love,
    I am forever gone...

    Gone from this plain we were living in,
    Because as soon as it began it had to come to an end...

    Submitted on 2007-03-22 20:43:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Such an epic piece of saddness. Sometimes just like loveispain said we have to let go. We can't keep living in hurt. Love simply hurts, their is no questioning that. And love continues to burn us like that. I like how you ended this I love you sweet honey but we can't go on Good-bye my love I am forever gone. It is best to just let go what makes you tick this way. This poem brought me to tears. Its really deep, and it provokes a lot of emotion. Out love is under stealth, as is it not there at all. Very original words that you have brought inside of this, and I could see the true detail of your pain. Our love becomes hate, such a tragic desastor it feels when this happens, but very relative. Im sorry for this oxymoron of love you are greatly suffering, and hope all turns well for you inside of the future, because love can really [censored] with our minds. Im adding this to my favorites btw
    | Posted on 2007-03-23 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh dear I hope this isn't reflecting anything that might be going on with Brad and you. Amazing write though. Everytime I read something you write I envy how well you write.
    | Posted on 2007-03-23 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...I think I know this plain..I think I've been on this plain before..and it pretty much sucks. When a great love...when something that was so good and felt so right at one time..becomes something that just plain HURTS. That something that isn't healthy, that isn't good for us anymore...that is the plain I believe you are talking about. I think once relationships reach this point...there really is no going back to a happier time. So just like how you ended the piece...sometimes we have to let go...for our own sake. Great write. ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2007-03-22 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]