Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Hope


Author: siradrian
Elite Ratio:    4.87 - 213 /123 /68
Words: 42
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 748
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 339



Description:




Hope




Hope

In phantasmagoria I lie
wading through dreams
of rising state
How taken by distaste
in selfish waste
of pleasuredomes embrace
I hear me
I live to see
anguish lost
peace gained
love once strained
triumphant now
the golden river.




Submitted on 2007-03-23 05:26:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  the ending is weak.. the subject is great.. you sud elaborate a bit and there you have it...

a great peice of work
| Posted on 2007-05-20 00:00:00 | by rawpot | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



138673