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Diamonds on the Crest


Author: JAcksonJr
ASL Info:    20/Male/NY
Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 56 /116 /57
Words: 127
Class/Type: Poetry /Death
Total Views: 852
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 911



Description:


9/5/5/9 - a/b/b/c


Diamonds on the Crest



Worldly pains begin to dissipate
Exhale your last sigh
And your loved ones cry
As the doctor declares it’s too late

Transcending from one realm to the next
This world, a trial
Each second worthwhile
And the beauty of your soul reflects

Obtaining your wings you set to fly
Rising off the shore
Up to heavens door
Bliss sets in as you drift toward the sky

Diamonds glisten atop crashing crests
Shattering into
Spectrums of dark blue
Beauty that the kings jewels don’t posses

Each breath magnificent flying high
This amazing view
Upon your heart grew
To the beautiful earth say goodbye

Heavens gate opens at your request
Enter gods city
Of eternity
Walk in the light; diamonds on the crest




Submitted on 2007-03-23 13:31:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  umm yeah, this cool too,can't say [censored] to imrpove on it,could try but i don't gpot years,beautiful picture on it

Kevin
| Posted on 2008-05-31 00:00:00 | by every48seconds | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this but the meter on the last stanza is a little off. This is just a suggestion but maybe you could try:

Heavens gate opens at your request
Enter gods city of eternity
Walk in the light shining brilliantly
Glistening diamonds on the crest

But it was a really good piece.

Kudos,
Jay

| Posted on 2007-03-24 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]


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