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    dots Submission Name: Nothing but everythingdots

    Author: Kube
    ASL Info:    24/M/Australia
    Elite Ratio:    1.93 - 64/56/32
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 697
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 531


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNothing but everythingdots

    I am like dirt underneath all
    Pain lives within me
    Sorrow is my sword
    Guilt is my bow
    Love is my shield

    May you never see fear
    I crave this fear
    Come to me
    Look me in my eye
    With open arms I am here

    I am this dirt
    I am this shell
    I am this nothing
    I am not afraid

    Look to me as if I am you
    Depend on my strength
    This is not for many
    But this I choose
    But this I am.

    Submitted on 2007-03-26 09:12:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow what the Hell were you going through when you wrote this??? It sounds like some of the stuff Iv writen. Joshua
    | Posted on 2012-05-12 00:00:00 | by oononotthatguy | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice work brudda, keep going!
    | Posted on 2007-03-28 00:00:00 | by forfila | [ Reply to This ]
      May your strength never fail you
    may your sheild protect you always, no matter the journey.
    Peace and love

    Nice work

    | Posted on 2007-03-26 00:00:00 | by Andz | [ Reply to This ]
      aww cute poem man.

    i like the I am I am parts. its cool.
    | Posted on 2007-03-26 00:00:00 | by WD-40 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not quite sure what kind of comments you want for this piece, so I shall just speak my thoughts!

    You seem to have created an interesting paradox here. You compare yourself to nothingness, to dirt, to a shell, which I understood meant you are empty, yet you love; you fear yet you are not afraid; you feel pain, you feel sorrow, yet you are protected by love. In some poems, a paradox is a powerful way of making something stand out beautifully, but it is a bit confusing here, I think.

    Still, it is well written. I especially liked the end: "But this I choose, But this I am." It sounds pleasant to the ear, and it closed the poem well.


    | Posted on 2007-03-26 00:00:00 | by the Change | [ Reply to This ]

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