Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nothing but everythingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kube
    ASL Info:    24/M/Australia
    Elite Ratio:    1.93 - 64/56/32
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 697
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 531



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNothing but everythingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am like dirt underneath all
    Pain lives within me
    Sorrow is my sword
    Guilt is my bow
    Love is my shield

    May you never see fear
    I crave this fear
    Come to me
    Look me in my eye
    With open arms I am here


    I am this dirt
    I am this shell
    I am this nothing
    I am not afraid

    Look to me as if I am you
    Depend on my strength
    This is not for many
    But this I choose
    But this I am.




    Submitted on 2007-03-26 09:12:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow what the Hell were you going through when you wrote this??? It sounds like some of the stuff Iv writen. Joshua
    | Posted on 2012-05-12 00:00:00 | by oononotthatguy | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice work brudda, keep going!
    | Posted on 2007-03-28 00:00:00 | by forfila | [ Reply to This ]
      May your strength never fail you
    may your sheild protect you always, no matter the journey.
    Peace and love
    Di

    Nice work

    | Posted on 2007-03-26 00:00:00 | by Andz | [ Reply to This ]
      aww cute poem man.

    i like the I am I am parts. its cool.
    | Posted on 2007-03-26 00:00:00 | by WD-40 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not quite sure what kind of comments you want for this piece, so I shall just speak my thoughts!

    You seem to have created an interesting paradox here. You compare yourself to nothingness, to dirt, to a shell, which I understood meant you are empty, yet you love; you fear yet you are not afraid; you feel pain, you feel sorrow, yet you are protected by love. In some poems, a paradox is a powerful way of making something stand out beautifully, but it is a bit confusing here, I think.

    Still, it is well written. I especially liked the end: "But this I choose, But this I am." It sounds pleasant to the ear, and it closed the poem well.

    Peace,
    Drika

    | Posted on 2007-03-26 00:00:00 | by the Change | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    138890

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Push written by JanePlane
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    This written by Chelebel
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bond written by saartha
    To written by SavedDragon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry