Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: mellow nomadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 660
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 261



    Description:
       haven't the faintest


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmellow nomadots
    -------------------------------------------


    dizzy girl whirling
    in a sea of sunspots
    the cohesion
    of an anti-material
    legerdemain

    she might have laughed
    despite the stinging
    melanoma that peeled her
    reeling flesh
    from its bright cage




    Submitted on 2007-03-26 22:09:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      things that come to mind;
    drunken,dehydrated,orange tinted genuine leather skin.
    gassed or delusional in the sand or the tanning bed,not sure which.

    strangely good.
    1

    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by eno1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Bill...Weird poem. Peeling the reeling flesh from its bright cage makes me think of cartoons when someone gets electrocuted and you see the X-ray of their insides and skeleton light up like a Christmas tree. Are the sunspots what gave her the cancer, or could they be the bright probing lights of the hospital, now that the noma has taken hold? The thing I like about it is that there's a story there, but the story is up to the reader to tell. I liked it a lot.

    Annie

    BTW I also enjoyed your "Sins of the Father," but I had to read it a couple of times. I was looking for something about the SINUS of the Father. Guess I need to get my glasses fixed!
    | Posted on 2007-06-08 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]
      That last stanza is very powerful but you don't seem to be writing very cheerful poems at the moment. Cancer and world annihilation.
    hugs nessie
    | Posted on 2007-04-14 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]
      I really have no idea what to say about this one Bill. It's so short. It says a lot, but emotionally, I don't know where this is going. Is this an observational piece regarding beach-babes sunning themselves, (un)knowingly letting themselves get cancer? Or is there something else I'm missing here?

    "Legerdemain": I've seen this word pop up at least once before in your poems... sleight of hand, trickery, deception etc, right?

    Nice wordplay in your title, by the way... and with "noma": I didn't know it was an actual word... meaning something gangrenous, which ties in with this cancer motif. I'm gonna have to conclude this was about a dizzy blonde bombshell type, the type who go to tanning salons and have annoying chihuahua's dressed up in clothes (any famous heiresses pop up in your mind at all? Lol).

    Yup. Interesting. Fill me in if I'm off the mark. I never know with you...

    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2007-03-29 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      A cancerous residue?

    I like the poem. Well put and deftly written.
    I get he sense of one who was living the magical moment and now is living down the detriment of LIVING!!!

    Whether that was your intention or not, I liked the poem , made me think. I hope all is well with you.
    | Posted on 2007-03-27 00:00:00 | by honus | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    138975

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Every..... written by jackz
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Push written by JanePlane
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    Carry written by saartha
    True Death written by layDsayD
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry