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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: mellow nomadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 635
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 261



    Description:
       haven't the faintest


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmellow nomadots
    -------------------------------------------


    dizzy girl whirling
    in a sea of sunspots
    the cohesion
    of an anti-material
    legerdemain

    she might have laughed
    despite the stinging
    melanoma that peeled her
    reeling flesh
    from its bright cage




    Submitted on 2007-03-26 22:09:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      things that come to mind;
    drunken,dehydrated,orange tinted genuine leather skin.
    gassed or delusional in the sand or the tanning bed,not sure which.

    strangely good.
    1

    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by eno1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Bill...Weird poem. Peeling the reeling flesh from its bright cage makes me think of cartoons when someone gets electrocuted and you see the X-ray of their insides and skeleton light up like a Christmas tree. Are the sunspots what gave her the cancer, or could they be the bright probing lights of the hospital, now that the noma has taken hold? The thing I like about it is that there's a story there, but the story is up to the reader to tell. I liked it a lot.

    Annie

    BTW I also enjoyed your "Sins of the Father," but I had to read it a couple of times. I was looking for something about the SINUS of the Father. Guess I need to get my glasses fixed!
    | Posted on 2007-06-08 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]
      That last stanza is very powerful but you don't seem to be writing very cheerful poems at the moment. Cancer and world annihilation.
    hugs nessie
    | Posted on 2007-04-14 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]
      I really have no idea what to say about this one Bill. It's so short. It says a lot, but emotionally, I don't know where this is going. Is this an observational piece regarding beach-babes sunning themselves, (un)knowingly letting themselves get cancer? Or is there something else I'm missing here?

    "Legerdemain": I've seen this word pop up at least once before in your poems... sleight of hand, trickery, deception etc, right?

    Nice wordplay in your title, by the way... and with "noma": I didn't know it was an actual word... meaning something gangrenous, which ties in with this cancer motif. I'm gonna have to conclude this was about a dizzy blonde bombshell type, the type who go to tanning salons and have annoying chihuahua's dressed up in clothes (any famous heiresses pop up in your mind at all? Lol).

    Yup. Interesting. Fill me in if I'm off the mark. I never know with you...

    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2007-03-29 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      A cancerous residue?

    I like the poem. Well put and deftly written.
    I get he sense of one who was living the magical moment and now is living down the detriment of LIVING!!!

    Whether that was your intention or not, I liked the poem , made me think. I hope all is well with you.
    | Posted on 2007-03-27 00:00:00 | by honus | [ Reply to This ]


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