I guess one of the issues I have with this poem is your insistance that the speaker is imperfect when the title of the poem is, now, Different. If the speaker is only different, why do you want to call the speaker 'imperfect'? I think you should return to the original title.
Or, perhaps consider leaving the last line out entirely. Let the reader or hearer respond to the relationship between the snake and the bees themselves.
I like it. The idea is very nice. The formatting really adds to it. Its hard to write a long critique though because in fact the poem is quote short...kinda could work as a quote as well because of its length. I especially like the last line. And its easy to point out what exactly you are trying to portray, that you are much to...casual, down to earth...different than those fancy aristrocrats with their tea partys and everything. So yeah, good write :)
Submission Name: Different
