Self Esteem in a Bottle
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I wrote this about two years ago during a rocky time in my life. At the time, I didn't intend for it to be anything special, I was just clearing my head, but I plan on expanding on it and fine tuning it. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
Self Esteem in a Bottle
So it seems to me that the more I accept myself, the uglier the figure in the mirror gets, and the mocking laughter just seems to grow louder. If weight is just a number and beauty is subjective why must we be judged and condemned based on markings on a piece of paper or worse yet, something that we cannot change at all. Why do things with little value weigh (pardon my use of the word) so much. The funniest thing about this is that there is a standard in a world so subjective. They say that one person can change the world, but so many have tried to shatter standards of beauty, yet none have suceeded. I am only left empty because the face staring back at me doesn't look like the ones on magazine covers and my body will never look like that of Britney Spears. I wish self esteem was sold in bottles. I'd buy myself 10 liters worth of bottles, heck I'd be addicted. I ponder things like that all the time, I know it sounds crazy but hey, it's me. So I've decided to maybe lose some weight and indulge my illusion of what brings happiness and beauty. It seems to me that I am trapped in a cycle that just goes faster. If I was a plane I would describe what has occured as a dramtic and chaotic nose dive that has left a massive wreckage, and there is no rescue team in sight. Even if there was they wouldn't be able to fix anything because of the enormity of the disaster. All I am asking for is a band aid because my soul has been cut and it is bleeding profusely. Maybe the band aid will slow the eventual death that will result from the excessive bleeding. |
Submitted on 2004-06-10 19:56:49 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| Wow, that shows a lot of deep thinking about how the world has come to just about perfection. Truly, it does bring a person’s self esteem down because they grew up in a world of beauty and that person is trying to be a part of it, and sometimes, it can’t be done. But I believe I’ve grown up differently, the only beautifest in my home was my sister. She had ‘fallen victim’ to the world’s view of beauty. If it wasn’t for my friends, I would still be a ‘victim’ worrying about my weight, boob size, hair, and skin; everything that is to be considered perfection (for a woman). Honestly, the scrawny, anorexic models in the magazines have to appeal to me. There are problems associated with those things that people believe would raise their self esteem. The only ones I can identify are for girls, obviously. Perfect hair- burning your hair with hair dryers, using sticky gel substances to raise it up, the constant use of chemicals to dye your hair color… it’s just abusing the natural beauty to your hair… shampoo is the only product I use for my hair, and at time, a hair dryer if I’m going somewhere in 5 minutes and its freezing outside… Skin- what is it with the tanning? Deliberately putting oil on your skin, turning into bacon on a pan to get a little darker isn’t good for you. After years of sun bathing, purposely staying out in the sun longer than what your skin can handle, you would look 60 at the age of 30… acne… well… acne is strange: you’re stressed, hormones are going bizarre, infected hair, um…… lots of things, and you can’t really help it. The only thing that concerns me is lotion, and sunscreen…. Boobs- hmm… The high demand of big boobs… you’re body grows proportionate to well... Your body… boobs are a major hassle… if they are too big, you’re back hurts… it messes up your body… then they just get in your way… small boobs, well that’s where most girls self esteem is.. It’s all about the boobs- guy magnets… I’m more worried about my school papers... I don’t need to worry about attracting a guy, I’ll only go for someone who likes me for the way I am… which I have found that special guy….. Body- the tall, skinny looks eh? I don’t think it’s a thing to envy. Having some meat/fat on your bones is GOOD! To much of it is bad… but some, I repeat, is okay. I don’t see how any man could hug a stick without fearing it would break. I like how I am, 5’6”, a little bit pudgy... but I like my pudgy-ness, or I’m like a Medium type of person... It’s something to grab on to anyways… And I don’t look like a walking skeleton… True, some people can’t help being the way they are because of their genetics and etc (with being skinny and etc… I really don’t care if someone is fat or extremely skinny, I like them anyways) and I love those people but doing UN-HEALTHY procedures to be like those models to raise yourself esteem is pathetic. If people think that to raise their self esteem is to have a perfect body, are deeply depressed and need to get out of the city full of fakes… I grew up this way, not giving a [censored] what the world wants me to look like or be because that lowers my self esteem… I’m not here on this earth for people to treat me like a Barbie doll. I admit that at times I want to be ‘perfect’ but I get over that little spell quickly enough. So few think like me because they grew up believing that there are certain things to make the world happy with the way you look. Don’t bring yourself down because of that… some people might look really good is usually because they have a low self esteem, or they are those people who (I really like) that just grew up that way. But honestly, everyone is beautiful… Magazines are EVIL! Teen mag’s anyways…… I believe that looking good, like… looking clean and neat is beautiful enough.. If you have those natural looks and shapes and etc. great, wonderful, I still say keep clean and do what you are comfortable with. Well, I’m done with my ranting…. And I’m sure what I wrote here will go against me soon enough... Thanks for sharing this; I hope to hear more from you soon. Jessica P.S. if self esteem was sold in a bottle, they would be put out of buisness because how would trainers get their money? How would clothes designers get THEIR money? And what about those info-mercials? It's sad how people uses people's selfesteem to get money. Just don't become a victim, if you are.. notice that your self esteem isnt based upon looks... I'm really sorry if this offended you, or anyone.... | Posted on 2004-12-28 00:00:00 | by nameless child | [ Reply to This ] | keep me posted on the modifications! i deal with this issue everyday and we as people shouldnt...if beauty is truly inside then why is everything based on looks? why do ppl who have such an essence about them end up so depressed and losing that spark? because they are called ugly? because when they look in the mirror they see only a monster? anyways..good job | | Posted on 2004-06-10 00:00:00 | by alma-perdida | [ Reply to This ] | |
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