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    dots Submission Name: season's harshnessdots

    Author: pixie_007
    Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 45/77/63
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 892
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 646


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    dotsseason's harshnessdots

    what's this burning sensation
    brought on by visual degredation
    I once could see
    but now i'm blind
    now I seek
    but cannot find

    I subconsciously wink and subconsciously blink
    though I cry and I try I can't consciously think
    of why I must suffer this every Spring
    this transition of seasons is cruel as it brings

    this red itchy feeling i feel is concealing
    the burning continues this irritant subdues

    My nose is so cunning it's constantly running
    and though I may blow it, it just keeps on coming

    Submitted on 2007-03-27 20:54:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really enjoyed this piece. The rhyming parts just kept me wanting to read it more and more. You made it sound so great, the diction rocked. You put so much description into it, you could have simply said "my nose was runny", but you didn't. Congrats. You wrote it as a writer. And you did a fantastic job.

    Keep writing and keep up the great work!

    *~ Mist ~*
    | Posted on 2007-03-28 00:00:00 | by PrincessDoom13 | [ Reply to This ]

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