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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Eyes of the Hopeless Romanticsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Draigon
    ASL Info:    25/m/Al
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 164/196/91
    Words: 247
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1032
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 1678



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEyes of the Hopeless Romanticsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The dove flies over the prestine water,
    gracing eyes with its beauty and splendor.
    Every eye looked at it with a hunger,
    all of them wanted to have it.
    It was love emobodied in a single form,
    a single and majestic form.
    The eyes thought that they would have it.
    Perhaps, maybe one would be so lucky.

    As another day approached anew,
    the eyes waited to see the dove fly over.
    When it finally did,
    they courted it, and competed for the prize.

    Competition soon turned to jealousy,
    and a battle to be better than one another.
    The lovely dove just marveled at all the eyes,
    and stared in amazement.
    So many found her appealing,
    it was flattering really.

    She enjoyed the eyes,
    but was soon growing tired,
    tired of the constant bickering.

    Finally as the sun dropped below the precipice
    she chose a mate.
    The other eyes glared in anguish,
    at the new lovers.
    They whispered curses under their breath,
    Jealousy was driving them,
    driving them with malicious intent.
    Something about these two though,
    kept them at bay.

    They stared in bewilderment at the beauty of it all,
    and the romanticness contained in this one event.

    So today the dove remained safe,
    for the love that had captured her heart,
    was true and that of divinities' purity.
    The love burned through time's corridors,
    and branded itself upon our hearts.
    Thus love lives on in all the hearts of romantics.




    Submitted on 2007-03-28 12:47:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed reading this poem, and it was one of those things that actually invoke my thoughts.

    I like how the dove is the equivelint of a magnificant, "trophy" woman, and the other doves wanted her, but in the end, there was only one mate for her.. It makes me think about how true love is a blessing, and I like that you put in the part about the love lasting forever.

    This is definately one for my poetry book.
    | Posted on 2007-05-06 00:00:00 | by Ghilanibee | [ Reply to This ]
      hey! this was a really great piece! i loved how it was a story put into poem format. the description was great, as was the wording. only one suggestion, fifth line in the last stanza, you say, "and branded itself upon our hearts" i think you should change the OUR to THEIR in order to keep with the tense and perspective that you use throughout the rest of the poem. other than that, great work! keep it up.
    peace.
    ~Shadia
    | Posted on 2007-04-27 00:00:00 | by Shadia Dark | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't like how it started out w/ all the dudes lusting over the "dove". I know there has to be a physical attraction, but you failed to emphesize the fact that a good relationship comes from hours of "cooing" (aka conversation) and becoming the mate's friend. Other than that factor, it was all fine, but that really stuck out to me as a major flaw.

    ~orange
    | Posted on 2007-04-19 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
      hey man i like this, poor guy, he is lonely, sounds like he needs playboy, this is wounderful just in the way is was worded,
    this cured boredom, well i really can't say alot.
    Peace.
    | Posted on 2007-03-28 00:00:00 | by WonderfulComa | [ Reply to This ]


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