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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Confusiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lolavie
    ASL Info:    23/female/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 70/175/103
    Words: 247
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 1112
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1447



    Description:
       whoa...uhm..where do i start......at a lost for words.....i just want ur feedback and comments..even if u came just to read this..plz comment...thanks..really appreciate it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConfusiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    slowly
    you tell me how ive made you feel
    faster
    my heart beats as i disagree
    you know
    youve never done a thing to hurt me
    so why try now

    i stare
    you in your eyes and see forever
    you blink
    and all my dreams just disappear
    your lips
    they make me cry and bring out laughter
    forget me now

    I dont know
    why you still want me around
    i know i need you but do you feel the same
    just give me a sign and i will go on my way

    softly
    my heart is breaking as I'm speaking
    louder
    the notions get for me to stay here
    you see
    that i know i just dont belong

    you close
    the door to doubts and disillusions
    I cry
    out to you that ive had enough
    You swear
    that youre the only one for me
    but i dont know

    I dont know
    why you still want me around
    i know i need you but do you feel the same
    just give me a sign and i will go on my way

    Time
    was all I thought we needed
    Signs
    is all I think I need and
    I
    ignored the plants you seeded
    Cry
    cause I will soon be leaving

    I dont know
    why you still want me around
    i know i need you but do you feel the same
    just give me a sign and i will go on my way




    Submitted on 2004-06-10 21:02:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think this is for him, simply because I never said I was the only one for you. And because he was the one you were trying to woo.

    But you were looking for signs with me too, the way you stared at me that last afternoon... I almost asked to go with you. To let me buy you a place to stay, anywhere but where you said you would go. But that stare was as if you stopped looking for signs I would prove my love, that you were trying to say goodbye instead.
    | Posted on 2004-06-23 00:00:00 | by DocJonathan | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow.. Just, wow. I loved it.. And the amazing part was a certin song that makes me think of my ex was playing when I read this.. It's great... Your use of words: really good... I like this one a lot, so I am gonna add it to my favorites.
    | Posted on 2004-06-10 00:00:00 | by Dark Angel | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really great! i love reading songs.. i dont know why i just do and i think this is the best one ive read in awhile..your use of words is just wonderful and i love how you broke up the lines... i can just hear it being sung its so sad... but i know the feeling all too well lately and you just put it into words so beautifully.. i think its going in my favorites i dont think i have anything to criticize..so i guess thats it... love, peace, and happiness!
    | Posted on 2004-06-10 00:00:00 | by mandyshay07 | [ Reply to This ]
      You know, I really like this a lot. 'Specially how you set up the structure. Just out of curiosity, what genre of music is this supposed to be?
    | Posted on 2004-06-10 00:00:00 | by Erchomenos | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    13913

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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