A Love I Can't Confess -------------------------------------------
We just started talking not too long ago
Our friendship is forming, at least I hope so
A while ago I thought you were mean
But all along, there was a bit of happiness inside you that couldn't be seen
I want to get to know you more
Before I can really be sure
That you're a love I can't confess
All of this thinking puts me under stress
But all of the stress is worth being with you
And I hope you feel the same way about me too
An ugly beast stands in my way
Of really saying what I have to say
You're a love I can't confess
All of this thinking puts me under stress
But all of the stress is worth being with you
And I hope you feel the same way about me too
This write is cute, i enjoyed reading it, but one thing for me was that i wanted more, you left me pondering over the situation and what you were really thinking and going through.
all in all it was a good write.;
This was actually really good but theres a few things id change like your stanzas for example they dont nescarily follow a pattern and id change the Stanzas to: "We just started talking not too long ago
Our friendship is forming, at least I hope so
A while ago I thought you were mean
But all along, there was a bit of happiness inside you that couldn't be seen
I want to get to know you more
Before I can really be sure
That you're a love I can't confess
All of this thinking puts me under stress
But all of the stress is worth being with you
And I hope you feel the same way about me too
An ugly beast stands in my way
Of really saying what I have to say
You're a love I can't confess
All of this thinking puts me under stress
But all of the stress is worth being with you
And I hope you feel the same way about me too" Other wise it was realy good i relly like the "an ugly beasts stands in my way of really saying what i have to say"
It's pretty good...but i think your last stanza could have been a bit more powerful than just repeating the same words....but over all its good...i really like your topic alot...many people feel that way...good job...keep on writing!
-Amber-
Submission Name: A Love I Can't Confess
