[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I can't but I do.dots

    Author: elseibi
    ASL Info:    20/f/uk
    Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 228/180/38
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 889
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 503

       Sorry for the major delay in any submissions recently - had a complete brain melt down hehe. Feel free to add any suggestions to this piece, constructive criticism is always welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI can't but I do.dots

    I can't see you,
    touch you, feel you,
    but i do love you.

    I can't feel your kiss,
    the warmth of a hug,
    or the joy at seeing you smile,

    but i love spending my time,
    just talking to you,
    even only for a little while,

    i can't walk with you,
    under the stars,
    as in my nightly dream,

    but i can count the days,
    till my dreams come true,
    though far away they seem.

    Submitted on 2007-03-29 17:15:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      it is amazing that 18 out of 20 girls i showed this to could relate.... i like the pattern of the poem however maby you could have added more detail. overall i liked it.
    | Posted on 2011-03-14 00:00:00 | by chiatealover | [ Reply to This ]
      This has a fine lyrical quality--it is certainly cute, but is meant to be--it is really rather brilliantly concieved and most wonderfully executed poem a great tonic to the murderous and boring woe- is-me-my-true-left-me poems that infest this site like a plague... loved it!! bravo... bravo... bravo...
    | Posted on 2008-07-02 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      The feeling of longing and wanting always brings out pure emotins in us all. You expressed this very well Lou. As you say...your time will come, and when it does, grasp it with all of your might.

    | Posted on 2007-06-30 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      This is wonderful Lou! It conveys the feeling of missing and longing for someone that you love when they're away perfectly!! Good work!!!
    | Posted on 2007-03-31 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Is that supposed to be a period at the end? That said, nice. A little trite, but I've been reading Macbeth lately, so this is an upgrade at the moment. Welcome back, Lou.

    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2007-03-29 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]