[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Written in Blooddots

    Author: Zabriel
    ASL Info:    22/MI
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 122/120/63
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 808
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 716

       This is a sonnet written in the style of William Shakespeare. I know it looks really depressing and all that, but I'm really fine. I wrote this for a class I had, and the words just came to me. Iambic pentameter is hard to write in. I'm used to free verse. Besides the overt suicidal themes...well why don't you tell me what you see? Thanks for reading, and I hope that you enjoyed this piece.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWritten in Blooddots

    The clock hands wave off last hours and say
    ‘Tis too late to recover squandered time
    My sun has set, and daylight hath stol’n away
    Knifepen in hand, write I this life’s final rhyme
    The night enfolds mine eyes which fail to see
    Any good left in the world in which we live
    My hopes shall now forever cease to be
    My life from me drains, like sand from the sieve
    Now battered down by the world’s greatest lie
    In my soul I have lost the will to fight
    Head laid in hands, all I can do is cry
    Despair takes me as darkness triumphs over light
    And pushes the blade into my weeping heart
    Samael’s solution, at death we do part.

    Submitted on 2007-03-30 07:41:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    That was grea! I love the ending. You should write more stuff like this, i's definitely my favourite :)

    Awesome job with this and I love the imagery, and your word choice was excellent.

    Cheers and God bless,

    | Posted on 2007-03-30 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Incubus written by monad
    ME written by jjd
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    This written by Chelebel
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    To written by SavedDragon
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Giving written by jjd
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    new moon written by CrypticBard




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]