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    dots Submission Name: non-stop erotic cafedots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2788/1297/258
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 817
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 804

       an old journal post reborn

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsnon-stop erotic cafedots

    since Rapunzel's
    had chemo
    and the Wizard's
    left Oz
    in a quandary
    (and each emeralds
    dirt cheap)

    our good wooden
    boy (the senator's
    son) crushed
    the id's cricket
    with his ponderous
    polemic that
    turned gold
    to lead
    (and lulled
    his lovers to sleep)

    while the buxom
    Snow White
    lap danced for the seven
    and offered bright
    apples like
    a demon of mercy
    from the witch's own
    garden with
    a sinister smile
    and a love
    none could keep

    ah romance!
    a ballet wed
    to a poorly penned score
    blessed every cynic
    with a dead metaphor

    Submitted on 2007-03-30 10:35:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      absolutely heartbreaking. Please don't shatter my illusions! Just kidding. Please do. Continue.

    "while the buxom
    Snow White
    lap danced for the seven
    and offered bright
    apples like
    a demon of mercy
    from the witch's own
    garden with
    a sinister smile
    and a love
    none could keep"

    That is the best. The absolute best. *removes hat and bows*
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by Waywarddaughter | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm guessing this piece is about society and how its has changed a lot, becoming something much harsher and worse then we imagined. It is no secret, we live in a cruel world.
    Great job portraying it. Normally I had when lines are broken up like that but actually in this case it actually works, it makes you think about each seperate line on thier own and how they tie in to the whole. Brilliant work.
    | Posted on 2007-04-04 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]
      My problem with this is that Iíve forgotten most of my childhood fairy tales. However, I intuit a description of an election Ė 2000 perhaps? Well, even if I get the referents wrong, I do like the compact structure and density of metaphors. The rhythmic beat is quick, appropriate for the fairy-tale subject matter. And youíve enticed interest in me to revisit some of those childhood tales. I enjoyed this much.
    | Posted on 2007-03-30 00:00:00 | by fredmelden | [ Reply to This ]

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