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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Compete, Comparedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1180
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 606



    Description:
       This is about my tendency to compare myself to Sylvia Plath. It's a sick tendency, but we actually have a lot in common (I've read every biography of her I could find). I suppose perfectionistic, clincally depressed poets are prone to competition.

    A shotgun house is a style of house peculiar the the southern US. It's a small (generally 2-4 rooms), single-story house with all of the rooms in a line. You can shoot a shotgun through the front door, and it'll come out the back.


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    dotsCompete, Comparedots
    -------------------------------------------


    We're obviously different,
    but I still feel the need to compare, to compete
    though you were gone long before my birth.
    I'm pretty, you were beautiful;
    although I'm bright, you were a genius
    and comparing your talent to mine
    is comparing a cathedral to a shotgun house.
    You were even sadder than I.
    My jealousy overflows me,
    but there's one way that I can surpass you.
    I'll live far past my sell by date,
    until I die of boredom and rancid inside,
    For that is something you couldn't do.




    Submitted on 2004-06-11 05:27:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      okay....love the "sell by date"

    i will die of boredom which you couldn't do..
    although something in me believes plath was almost like one of these high school kids in pennsylvania during that rash of suicides..who probably thought they were indestructible...and would shoot themselves in the head sunday night and be back in school monday..

    plath was writing her best stuff at the time of her death..and i believe she thought she would come back from this attempt to write about it also..

    like in Lady Lazarus.."the peanut crunching crowd ...shoving in to see her do her act...." the theatrical suicide..

    this poem is so good. but surely can be a bit scary too in the comparison...

    and sad...

    but wow on these lines:

    "i'm pretty, you were beautiful/ and though im bright, you were a genius"

    yes i know you are comparing yourself to her...but somehow, and i am amazed that you could do it...you pull off these lines without the least bit of vanity...

    there is simply a telling it like it is...

    i also like the "cathedral" comparison to the "shotgun house"

    brilliantly woven poem...
    | Posted on 2011-06-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah, yes...you have met her, and it is shown, although I am not sure if the comparison of talent is accurate. You said yourself, you've the life left-and this to grow, as a poet, though it may take more time to reach her intensity. But you are less the Nazi restriction and fear. I am quite certain you shall achieve..in your individual way. I, as a lover of Plath, also know of the deep torture depicted in her beauty, but you seem to be on the same path as she. You recognize these things that others are blind to seek. And bravo in the rememberance of one so insightful as she. It is very hard to find the words to honor someone so talented, but I fell, in modern upkeeping, you have done this well.
    | Posted on 2004-09-23 00:00:00 | by Stalking Sylvia | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this a lot. I have not read a lot of your work yet, so I don't know if this is good for you. that said, the comparison of the "cathedral to a shotgun house" is a very strong image for me.

    I really like the lines:

    "You were even sadder than I
    My jealousy overflows me"

    Boy that is great!

    I'll have to read a bunch more of your work!
    | Posted on 2004-07-07 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. It reeks of a comment I made to someone here; " A wise old man once replied when asked by a journalist what he had done about all the enemies he must have made during his long life; 'I outlived the buggers!'" Your words convey this idea and more. Really nice and a favourite.
    | Posted on 2004-06-12 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      No idea about Sylvia Plath.

    But cuddle, you don't have a sell by date. (Going on instinct here. So, let's not question it)

    But I don't get the last line
    "And rancid inside
    For that something you couldn’t do"

    do you mean, "for that was something you couldn't do?"
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      cuddle you and that mind..i feel if anyone climbed in they would never return..i dolike this piece though...im not sure about the last two lines though ...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm glad you want to surpass her in living.
    this poem is very well written. I like your comparisons very much. my favourite lines are
    'I'm pretty, you were beautiful
    Although I'm bright, you were a genius
    And comparing your talent to mine
    Is comparing a cathedral to a shotgun house'.
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't have any literary icons myself. That's not a good thing. I have never read a biography, a book of poetry, or a book on how to write poetry. It's a very sad tale. Your sentiment in this piece is similar to my Calling Walt poem, but would you believe I've never even read Whitman? Well, I read one or two of his poems years ago. I truely compare myself most to Chinese poets. I prefer them even in translation. Feeling compelled to compare and compete with our icons is a very natural tendency for any passionate person. Your lamentations have a broader appeal than the personal approach you have taken in the poem. Which is fine. I enjoyed how you displayed a certain confidence and arrogance while paying obeisance, such dichotomous themes. The imagery in the piece is far less visible than in your averge write, which left me a bit disappointed. The poem is worthy of you none-the-less, but not if you want to beat Sylvia Plath.
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      I do wonder if ., I do know who Syvia Plath is... She wrote poetry.. I did read that in your description. I agree with you.., in my own way. I do compare my poetry, to others., who have long past gone. Puts a knott in my throat.
    The picture of the child is so cute... I have thought, about putting my baby picture up.
    I liked your poem
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by Vibrant | [ Reply to This ]
      very nice poem. I have read some Sylvia Plath and do not share your awe for her, but some of her poems are quite interesting. perhaps I don't understand them and that is why. I read about her life as well. many creative people are manic depressive and suicidal, which is a shame. talent should not carry such a cost.
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      glad to hear that you plan to outlive her! i am also a fan of her work. my roommate is trying to slog through "the bell jar," but she can't seem to stick with it. anyway, i suppose we all compare ourselves to someone or other. it can make it so difficult sometimes, because i feel so inadequate most of the time. i liked this piece because it was simply stated. i really hope you don't die rancid inside, though! eww... i like the comparison of a cathedral to a shotgun shack. i've always wanted to live far back in the woods in just such a shack, minus the shotgun, of course! well, i suppose if i lived back in the woods, i may need one! lol! g'day to ya!
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]


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