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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: caged birdsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Prose/Romance
    Total Views: 474
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 873



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscaged birdsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    caged birds sing more nervously
    when others are about
    even when their cages are trees
    and they're merely confused by plays of light

    so divulge in this vacuity
    hours, days or weeks of solemn space
    let gravity have its way with you
    the only one worth waiting for

    all we have is time
    or at least the symptoms of its invention
    and we're often too clever to see
    that we know nothing of its character

    when the days have elapsed
    when memory has folded and refolded
    look for me the graceful lipped romantic
    bending towards you like the moon

    but for now know that i am the strength you hunger for
    not the weakness from which you hide
    sailing the silent seconds in my mind
    i'll see you on the other side




    Submitted on 2007-04-01 15:57:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Beautiful!! Wow... I'm in love with it! ^.^
    Keep writing hun, your great! Hey but can I ask you a favor? I have no idea what to write about, I kinda got a type of writers block, so could you just give me one word so I can write about it?
    Belive me, It doesnt matter what it is, I will take anything and put it into words that you wouldnt even imagine.
    Seems like you could do the same, your pretty good.
    I would appreciate your help. Just pm it to me, I dont want anyone to think I am cheating, you know, lol.

    necrotic
    | Posted on 2007-04-19 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked it. I think it has a good message. It has many messages that one can dechiper. Anyway, that is the way it seem.
    | Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by LadyDoragon | [ Reply to This ]
      Pretty good. I don't know PInk floyd, but try getting the syllables to match more rhythmically in the prose.

    Ex:

    Instead of
    I feel so dainty in this sack
    I'm choking here.

    write
    I feel so dainty in this sack
    I am choking here.
    | Posted on 2007-04-05 00:00:00 | by Bumbeak | [ Reply to This ]
      This is astounding. Its so clear and beautiful that it was a treat to read. Its amazing what watching birds play in trees can do for the inner muse.

    Correy
    | Posted on 2007-04-01 00:00:00 | by AnotherNobody | [ Reply to This ]
      i'll see you on the other side

    now where have i heard that before? maybe pink floyd. oh well you do justice none the less


    beauty and geniouse undefined. not to mention the absloutly brilliant bird analogy. it's so easy to do so easy to ruin, but you totaly nailed it

    shadow
    | Posted on 2007-04-01 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]


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