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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The way I see youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: black rose13
    ASL Info:    16/f/where do I live?
    Elite Ratio:    1.35 - 137/97/39
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1101
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1213



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe way I see youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When you say stars are falling all for us.
    Do you truly mean it?
    I know you say you love me.
    But do you truly mean it?

    I don't want to think about what I'd do with out you.
    But it seems to me, you don't see me the way I see you.

    I can't help but be haunted by your voice,
    every night in my dreams,
    it's like I have no choice.

    I don't want to think about what I'd do with out you.
    But it seems to me, you don't see me the way I see you.

    I know you still love her.
    So tell me why you have to act like you love me.
    This time your sad eyes never brighten my room.

    I don't want to think about what I'd do with out you.
    But it seems to me, you don't see me the way I see you.

    And now we're both unhappy,
    with the way things have become.

    I don't want to think about what I'd do with out you.
    But it seems to me, that you don't see me the way I see you.

    So now my fairy tale dream that I thought had come true has crashed and burned to ashes.




    Submitted on 2007-04-01 19:32:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hello. This was rather good, showing strong emotion but also reflecting on alot of other relationships. Hmmm...and multi-tasking poem, nice. Any who, in ST3 the rhyme with voice and choice seems a little lonely, being the only rhyme in the entire poem. It mainly made me expect to see more rhymes and was disappointed when there weren't anymore. I'm not saying its bad though.


    Good write.


    Soul
    | Posted on 2007-04-11 00:00:00 | by insphered soul | [ Reply to This ]
       "that you don't see me the way I see you."

    how true. how heartfelt. that line hits home more than you know.

    growing up sucks dont it...

    hugs

    always here for you, and never too busy

    shadow
    | Posted on 2007-04-02 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      this is good, sadness is strong in this piece and yet it's still like you love this person. it's a very good write. Joanna
    | Posted on 2007-04-01 00:00:00 | by heartless_ | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    139494

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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