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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Living The Worst Liedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MornSweetSong
    ASL Info:    21/female/wales
    Elite Ratio:    4.42 - 110/83/46
    Words: 311
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 925
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1710



    Description:
       Meh


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLiving The Worst Liedots
    -------------------------------------------


    What right have I, to sit and smile,
    Whilst my stomach churns acid bile.
    What right have I, to laugh with glee,
    I can fool them, but I can't fool me.

    What right have I, to slumber sweet upon my harsh, empty bed.
    A picture of peace, asleep, whilst demons go to war in my head.

    What right have I, to wake up with a song on my lips,
    Whilst glimmers of sweat appear on my fingertips.
    Sweat that emerges under times of great burden,
    The longer I pretend, the more my insides harden.

    I tire of trying hard to fit in...please people...please myself.
    I watch my body, shell, doing these things, but my soul's on a shelf.
    I continue to grow outside, but not within.
    They say that lying to yourself...is a dreadful sin.

    My heart has many sorrows, of which it hurts to speak.
    The guilt I carry round with me is evident, it reeks.
    Nobody seems to understand the message I portray,
    when I bow my head and mumble - every single day.

    It is because I am frightened by the enormous stress of it all,
    I can rise up like everyone else - only to swiftly encounter a sharp fall.
    If the day should come when I finally break free of the chains around my soul,
    I will know that I have succeeded - in reaching my life's goal.

    I will wait longingly for that feeling to smother me with its sticky embrace,
    Until then, my true self...I simply cannot face.
    I will live my lie until the time comes to pass.
    When people will accept me - I'll learn to live at last.




    Submitted on 2007-04-02 17:09:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I got tired of reading random poems by random people, so I decided to read one of yours. And as always - it seems like I say this a lot - I can really relate to it. It's almost like you can read my mind and phrase my thoughts in a way that I never could. I use to be able to express my true feelings, but it seems to get harder every day, I guess you're stealing my emotions with every poem you write.

    "What right have I, to laugh with glee,
    I can fool them, but I can't fool me."

    "I tire of trying hard to fit in...please people...please myself.
    I watch my body, shell, doing these things, but my soul's on a shelf.
    I continue to grow outside, but not within.
    They say that lying to yourself...is a dreadful sin."

    These were the lines I related to the most. They just seem to describe me perfectly. I like how the rhymes just seem to fit without sounding forced. It really helps with the flow.

    "It is because I am frightened by the enormous stress of it all,
    I can rise up like everyone else - only to swiftly encounter a sharp fall."

    I can't really figure out a way to make this flow right, but the second line just seems too long, maybe I'm just reading it too slow or something. That's about the only problem I see.

    Peace,
    Love,
    And weed for all!
    | Posted on 2007-04-05 00:00:00 | by Magic Dragon | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. It flowed nicely, rhymed well, and the emotion was portrayed magnificently. I liked this alot, I can really relate to it. I feel like that alot of the time. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

    Saint Razor
    | Posted on 2007-04-02 00:00:00 | by brknprclndol | [ Reply to This ]


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    139569

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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