Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The changedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lover girl
    ASL Info:    17, female
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 83/54/24
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 672
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 791



    Description:
       I wrote this about a lost love that I have to see everyday. I can't get over how I feel when I am with him. He was always there for me but now I am not so sure. I feel all alone and I don't know what to do!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe changedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I feel alone as the walls around me crumble.
    My heart is pounding,
    My fingers tremble.
    The tears run down my face.
    I think of you as I always do,
    Smiling with true love...
    But then the change.
    My hope is lost!
    Fleeting with our one last kiss.
    Lingering,
    And deadly in the thought.
    I see you here and everywhere.
    You haunt my mind and dreams.
    I need you,
    But the thought I can not stand.
    The memories and moments,
    You left me
    As my tear drops fall.
    I hate that I still wish
    For your tender loving lips!
    My heart is pounding,
    My fingers tremble,
    And the tears will forever run down my pale face
    To fill the void in my broken heart!




    Submitted on 2007-04-03 19:51:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I would feel the same way if my boyfriend broke up with me, we go to the same school so i would have to see him everyday like you do...it would be really hard...me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2yrs. and 2mons. i know all about love and hard times...may be you should try to talk to your "lost love" maybe y'all can work things out... :( ... :) Very good poem by the way...nicely writen...
    -Amber-
    | Posted on 2007-04-04 00:00:00 | by never_far_away | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    139711

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Carry written by saartha
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relativity written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry