bad omen -------------------------------------------
The urge is getting bigger the temption is getting stronger my will power is almost gone .BUT i made a morel promis to my mom i wouldnt smoke mary any more as i find myself in a toss up between doin whats right or saying fuck it im gonna do things my way but see MY WAY is the path to destruction of my self what do i do ?i do whats right what i should have done from the get go im a strong minded person that has alout to offer just like john lennon offerd alout of insight i to can become strong and offer insight to those who thirst for it i wont be like my granddad who has nothin i wont be the one liveing in a homeless shelter when i have a place to live and things yo do im tired of fucken up every were i go im writing this not to just thank mom for helping me im also writing this to say im a prime exaple to show everyone how un cool drugs are i myself did crack meth weed poppers coke and they all ended me in jail
Stay strong and dont give in. Its a hard road getting off and staying off drugs but once you survive it you will be all that much stronger and will be able to offer insight and help to others.
As far as critique goes, I would say that this needs form. There is no spacing for feeling and it's all pushed together into a paragraph. The ill use of any sort of grammar is making my eye twitch. Also, the word choices like 'bigger' throw it off entirely and give it no feeling at all.
It has a nice message but your attempt to convey it is being strangled by. . . well, itself. It seems like every other angsty teen poem I've ever read, minus the self mutilation.
Submission Name: bad omen
