Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Something Completely Revolutionarydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 621
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1045



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSomething Completely Revolutionarydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm going to live right NOW
    in the NOW
    while you still live in the dead, dissolved, disgusting damn past
    I will be moving on
    every second
    every goddamn second that you think you are responding
    you are only reacting to what I say
    and I am in the NOW and there is no way that you could ever
    comeplete the lag
    your actions
    are simply reactions
    of my NOW
    if you dig, you'll
    never
    always
    just fucking
    live
    in
    the
    NOW
    NOW
    NOw
    everysecond that you react is a complete waste of time
    you have no idea how this works
    Because I exist in a seperate place from you
    I'm ahead of you
    forever frozen in this text
    that is now
    new beginning
    seconds tick and you
    will never
    catch
    catch
    catch up
    with me
    I am NOW and you have been left behind
    your every reaction is in the past
    you lag




    Submitted on 2007-04-04 13:39:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Now
    Now
    Now...

    I am damn tired.
    | Posted on 2007-04-05 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      to tell you the truth, dear, this peice is in itself a reaction. it is a reaction to the words of Tom Wolf, a reaction to the discovery of a philosophy that interests you, it is a reaction to the actions of others whos supposedly lag...

    this entire piece is in itself not a revolutionary stand point, it is the recitation of a version of the beliefs that you have adopted from Tom Wolf.....

    this piece is not you speaking out in truth, this is you speaking out as an influenced person who sees a world they have yet to explore in depth....

    indeed this peice is quite nearly just you trying to find yourself at a time when the rest of your life is unstable and in every aspewct of your life you are ruled and dominated and confined and this is you trying to take control, and yes you may decide to tell me that i do not know that, that i do not really know you....

    and in that i would suppose you are correct, but that is what i see, and i stand by it....

    as for the technical, purely unrelated to anything part....it is differently put together, but not badly, however there appears to be no clear structure from which you have built.....

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-04-05 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      I often think about time and how perhaps everything we do is being repeated back infinitely. And sometimes people become so obsessed with a moment and get stuck. Its good to be able to move forward. My favorite lines were "I'm ahead of you forever frozed in this text." And I really liked how you used the word lag.


    ---kim
    | Posted on 2007-04-05 00:00:00 | by chemberdan | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm....interesting use of the word 'now'. you exposed your anger very well.
    it was a nice read
    Sad Lion
    | Posted on 2007-04-04 00:00:00 | by Sad Lion | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    139764

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Carry written by saartha
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry