[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Nice Guydots

    Author: Katlord
    ASL Info:    24/no thanks/my room
    Elite Ratio:    2.17 - 375/199/101
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 734
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1020


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNice Guydots

    He watched as the blind boy passed him by.
    He gave a nod at on coming car.
    He waved at the children at play.

    This man who is he?
    He seems so very nice.
    I followed him.

    He went to his home.
    Up the steps to a door.
    The door was then closed.

    I heard a loud noise.
    This followed by screams.
    A lady ran from the house to the street.

    She screamed and screamed.
    I didn't understand.
    I looked at her dazed and confused.

    She screamed 'run away child run away'
    I looked down at her hands which were coated in blood.
    My innocent side said 'what have you done?'

    She screamed even louder 'He's been shot.'
    These words though familiar were not understood.
    She shook me away.

    I walked home in wonder.
    My mother asked me how was my day.
    I shurged and said ' the usual'

    Submitted on 2007-04-05 10:45:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      That was really good.No one ever really touches the point of social decay(if that is what the subject is!) so it's good too finally hear one done so well.I wish it was longer though I could of read it for hours!
    Keep it up

    Dead Bell
    | Posted on 2007-04-06 00:00:00 | by Dead Bell | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]