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    dots Submission Name: Blasphemydots

    Author: Magic Dragon
    Elite Ratio:    5.11 - 62/64/38
    Words: 255
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1187
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1619

       I don't know what this is. I just wrote what came to mind.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Where THE FUCK is my inspiration!?

    Maybe if i dig deep in my soul
    I'll find the man I use to be
    And finally lose all control
    And spit what comes straight to my mind
    And leave everyone else behind
    Consumed in my lost history
    I'll be the man I want to be

    FUCK everybody else!

    I'm tired of trying to make you happy
    Your breath smells bad
    Your hair is nappy
    There I said it
    Go wash yourself
    If there's a Heaven
    I'll see you in Hell

    FUCK the world!

    I can't wait 'til the day I die
    So I can watch my family cry
    As flames evaporate my tears
    I'll count the days
    And count the years
    Until my joy comes to an end
    The day I see my long lost friends

    Life is BULLSHIT!

    Yet again I find myself
    With the same friends
    In the same hell
    I hate myself
    And love the hate
    Do the flames hurt?
    No, they feel great

    Dont TELL me this!!

    And yet again the news is bad
    Guess who walks in
    My mom and dad
    I guess there are no pearly gates
    I hate myself
    And love the hate

    Am I REALLY free!?

    The lock is broke
    The gates of Hell
    Are open so
    I might as well
    Walk out into the nothingness
    This whole experience left me pissed
    Now God will feel the wrath of me
    If I kill Him,
    Will I be free?

    Submitted on 2007-04-05 17:18:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Now dude, you said that you hate me because I say the things that you feel, like I am clairvoyant or something...then you go and do the exact same thing to me!

    Honestly, I loved this. Are you always angry? I am, I am furious right now, must be a tortured teen thing.

    The rhyme scheme, the flow and the language...wow.

    GBG - Leah
    | Posted on 2007-04-12 00:00:00 | by MornSweetSong | [ Reply to This ]
      Yay. I mean...rawr. Actually I really like it, I cant tell you how many times I have had that feeling where its like [censored][censored][censored][censored][censored] and there isnt really anything else because i just hate the world and everything about it. But yeah, you did a wonderful job of articulating what you wanted to say.

    Speaking on just the writing and not the meaning it starts out a bit rocky with the way you split up the lines and all. Well actually I really like the first stanza but the second one...you could split the 'There I said it go wash yourself' into two different lines but its just a suggestion. You also spelled straight like strait in the beginning also, just a small typo.

    Yeah, I hope that helps a bit, but otherwise I really really really really like this. It speaks of exactly what I always wanted to say but never had the words to say it.

    | Posted on 2007-04-06 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]

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