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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Slipping Into Darknessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 499
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 591



    Description:
       A rondeau written several years ago to satisfy a course requirement. Dedicated to someone no longer on the site who felt I should experiment with formalism.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSlipping Into Darknessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    time seems to lead me from this place
    as if a dream were ended, grace
    to grace, cedars scrape the heavens
    grasp each face, suddenly forgiven
    tears and rain

    sifted through the trees, across the plain
    nothing but an empire, pooled in shade
    awaits another kingdom
    time seems to lead me

    down the rungs to nothing darkness made
    slipping into softness, chaste, contained
    how will you greet me, when I come
    if eyes are as heavy as lips are numb?

    time seems to lead me...




    Submitted on 2007-04-05 19:10:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      WOW... very dark, but at the same time i got a sense of love out of it.
    A great piece or work.

    please check out some of mine.
    I think one you might like would be;
    "spinning, swirling to count the moments of pain."

    ~MaGgIe
    | Posted on 2007-06-30 00:00:00 | by Magger32 | [ Reply to This ]
      this peice seems abit more meloncholic than what I usually read from you. It seems to dwell in a very depressed state, possibly the voice of a ghost who still dwells or lingers, or a memory of something that has escaped & moved on.

    anyhow, the last line leave me with the impact of a sort of realization that has occurred unexpectedly.

    Death seems to be it's theme.

    Take care,

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2007-04-09 00:00:00 | by vohomegirl | [ Reply to This ]
      you're right. there aren't many old timers left. but some of them are coming back. unless you meant old timers, as in those who have been here longer than twenty years. in which case, i do not fit the bill. on to some piece love, because i do love it.

    time seems to lead me from this place
    as if a dream were ended, grace
    to grace, cedars scrape the heavens
    grasp each face, suddenly forgiven
    tears and rain

    if this was an experiment at a different style of writing, i'd have to say you passed with flying colours. cedars scraping the heavens is a beautiful image- when i was a little girl, my grandfather's backyard was filled with huge cedars, that did seem to scrape the heavens, at least to my five year old eyes. my seven year old eyes were precocious enough to try and reach them on the back of the cedars and i ended up flat on my bottom after a 15 foot fall. it was at that point i concluded that i shouldn't bother trying to reach the heavens. tears and rain. are they the same? maybe that's why i become so unhappy when it's raining out. the world is crying.

    sifted through the trees, across the plain
    nothing but an empire, pooled in shade
    awaits another kingdom
    time seems to lead me

    beautiful. i love the way you use words to lead the reader into their own, personal, private communion with their thoughts.

    down the rungs to nothing darkness made
    slipping into softness, chaste, contained
    how will you greet me, when I come
    if eyes are as heavy as lips are numb?

    darkness slipping into softness. you make my heart full of wanting and need with this piece. i used to slip into softness with him. softness from darkness. but softness slowly turned into indifference.

    and my lips turned numb. my eyes were never heavy with sleep. only with tears. unshed.

    time seems to lead me...

    time is leading me out of my self-imposed state of solitude. i have grieved, but i am unable to move on. because maybe, i find my sadness beautiful. this has not been a very useful post for you, perhaps. just me, sharing my thoughts, my memories, everything your piece has stirred within me. and that has helped me. so thank you.

    it has been overcast for almost a week. i am waiting for the sunshine.
    | Posted on 2007-04-07 00:00:00 | by freeradical | [ Reply to This ]


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