Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: absolutiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lolavie
    ASL Info:    23/female/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 70/175/103
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 670
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 496



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsabsolutiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    speak to me
    but only if you have no lips
    so you can understand the meaning
    of listening

    Hold me
    but only if you have no arms
    so you can fully comprehend protecting
    me from harm


    Complicate the situation even more
    war of words are battling on
    leave me when you go

    Understate emotions that hide
    Doors left open, room to breathe
    how you get so cold






    Submitted on 2007-04-06 00:38:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, it kinda took my breath away. Very earthy in its form and honest admissions. I just finished a classroom interactions class and your first stanza could read from an active listening manual lol. The only thing I was curious about was stanza three. It just doesn't seem to come out of the same mold as the rest of the poem. One and two are clear challenges to another. I think my main problem is with "Complicate the situation even more" It isn't as discriptive as everything else. Just my opinion mind you. Feel free to ignore me completely if you so chose lol. Again wonderful poem that I think is going to make it to my fav's list.
    | Posted on 2007-04-16 00:00:00 | by tagit | [ Reply to This ]
      girrrrrrrrrrl.... i get so jealous sometimes, but only on this site. which is good i guess. even if i don't really enjoy the taste of humble pie.

    your piece resonates so simply and truthfully. everything that we are, and everything that we do as people is subjective. it's coloured by what we feel and what we think.

    so for us to really be objective, we have to take away the things that get in the way. lips, so we can listen, and not just wait to speak. holding someone without arms, so that we can truly understand what holding a person means.

    that's probably my favourite image. holding someone without arms. because it's not just a physical embrace, is it? it's so much more. so very much more. but instead, we choose to search out only the physical... too many times have i have been abandoned by being held. and i don't even think i came to the full realization of that until i read your words.

    leave me when you go.

    perfection.

    every time he left me, he took me with him. and he knew it. i was this empty, meaningless, inconsolable shell. but i was the stupid one, because i was the one who opened the door every time he knocked.

    thanks for resonating, darling. it was worth the read, ten times over.

    | Posted on 2007-04-06 00:00:00 | by freeradical | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    139877

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Hyle written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry