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    dots Submission Name: Cruel Lovedots

    Author: Bleeding death
    ASL Info:    17/f/Beijing
    Elite Ratio:    2.53 - 3/4/19
    Words: 482
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Love
    Total Views: 591
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2960

       this is a story about my love-life and how it went down....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCruel Lovedots

    Six months,
    Iíve had him hold me.
    He was there.
    Made me grow stronger and stronger inside.
    Made me feel unbeatable.
    Made me feel safe.

    Then all the sudden Ė over,
    Everythingís gone.
    The feeling of being strong,
    The feeling of being unbeatable,
    The feeling of security.
    Instead Iím weak, vulnerable, and insecure
    But the love
    The love stayed.
    And it wouldnít go away.

    Then there was the opportunity of having fun.
    Fun, but no commitments,
    Fun, but no rules,
    Fun, but no expectations.

    But it was also fun, but no trust,
    Fun, but no security,
    Fun, but no one behind me.
    No one who made me grow strong inside.

    Just this person who kept playing a game with me
    A game I wouldnít recognize
    Until I got too much into it.
    Until I started liking the player,
    But hating the game.

    He owned the game,
    He played on and on and on.
    It was on and off and on and off and on and off.
    No matter what happened,
    How much he used me,
    I always came back to him.
    I always forgave him.
    I never saw how much it was ripping me apart inside.

    Inside where no one could see the tears,
    Where no one could hear the screams,
    Where no one could feel the pain,
    No one but me.

    Everything I knew,
    The trust,
    The secure feeling,
    The feeling of someone always holding my back,
    Was gone.

    Instead I felt used.
    Just because I was too dumb to see,
    Right from the beginning,
    That I donít mean anything to some people.

    Did I mean something to the first guy?
    I donít know. Im not sure.
    I hope I did. I loved him and still do.
    He was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my live with.

    How bout the second guy?
    I doubt it.
    All he cares about is girls having respect of him.
    He wants attention,
    He caught mine,
    He got me into the game,
    Tricked me into liking him.
    On purpose or not I donít know,
    What I do know is that
    All I came out of the game with,
    Is pain.
    Pain all over and over and over again.
    Guy after guy, game after game, love after love.

    So why carry on?
    Why not just end everything.
    End the tears,
    The screams,
    This feeling.
    Because its not about them.
    Its about me.
    Me, my life and my friends.

    Life is not just about pain.
    But the pain makes us strong,
    Prepares us for worse actions,
    Makes us aware of the fact,
    That the world and the people in it,
    Can be cruel.
    Can and sometimes do hurt us whenever they can.

    Submitted on 2007-04-06 00:45:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I can't say that I have experinced that exact situation but I have really close friends who have and I realize through them, and similar events that have happened to me, how much it sucks. It may seem like you will never get over it but you will. I hope you situation works out.
    | Posted on 2007-04-19 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]

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