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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Keeping My Mouth Shutdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 458
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 812



    Description:
       Just writing that on my mind...there this one girl u knwo who u r...n if have anything so say bout this just tell me n we could talk bout it....but im not worried anymore


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKeeping My Mouth Shutdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Keeping my mouth shut
    Keeping my emotions in check
    Trying to let her handle her own shit.

    But she don't know
    It's killing me
    Knowing she talking to him
    Having flash back of my old girlfriends.

    Hoping the past doesn't come the present...
    My heart says the present is the present
    Let the past be the past...
    Love this girl intill your last gasp of your breath.

    Yet my gang realted past
    give me that feelin that burns wit intensity
    With every message, every phone call
    Im not the person to make look like a fool.
    So hold my breath till i turn blue
    till I get to feel your touch that is really true....


    (I will always be there no matter what)




    Submitted on 2007-04-06 20:06:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      honey please don't worry about me. If you could be here with me you would understand that you are my whole world and there is nothing in this planet that can take me away from you, or make me go back to him.
    I love you, and i will prove to you that i am not like any of your ex gfs
    | Posted on 2007-04-07 00:00:00 | by Jessica Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      This is all over the place.You have to have some structure for a piece to be effective I feel-unless the content is of sufficient quality to keep the reader interested.Also,using mixed up slang and abbreviations doesn't really work for me.
    Too personal probably,hence we can't relate to it.(Gang related past or not.)
    | Posted on 2007-04-07 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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