Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Grab-bagdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lolavie
    ASL Info:    23/female/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.28 - 70/172/100
    Words: 203
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 75
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1429



    Description:
       Next time you write your next piece write down common words you could use...try avoiding those...try saying things in a new way...as my piece shows its inevitably impossible to stray away from them for long..they're our comfort zone words....try going out of your comfort zone!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGrab-bagdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We have all the words in the world at our disposal
    It's so easy to stick to a select few
    but how commonly they are used by others
    I want to be different

    but in my process I weed out unusable words
    like 'negotiate', 'experience',
    'expose', 'coincide',
    'maximize', 'buildings', 'size' and 'rent'
    who upon using those words is content?

    but go with words like love, tough, pain, enough, should, we, could, be, treasure, paid, sunny, days
    for now lets go with the latter and see what happens

    You look me and up and down
    and there you have your expose
    experience my equinox
    and maximize your chance to stay

    You coincide with broken time
    for someone's rent already due
    still building trust
    over accumulated mildew

    The next time you negotiate
    try your ego in a smaller size
    to appreciate the fire blazed
    when looking in my eyes


    Don't say love is tough
    on sunny days
    pain is enough
    when treasure isn't paid
    Should we stray from these words,
    Could we be content without them?
    These words are like birds
    they go away but
    they'll come back when we need them




    Submitted on 2007-04-08 08:58:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this poem was not what i expected. lol that's good. i've been ready for something different.

    i love this poem, simply because it made me smile. and it is a very good idea too.

    my vocabulary is something i've been disatisfied with also. but i think i'm going to try something different now.



    love this piece. good job.

    samantha
    | Posted on 2007-04-08 00:00:00 | by slickviper097 | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazing! I absolutely adore what you've put into my head! I've been trying lately to come up with something off-beat. I instantly recognized my own habitual writings as I read this. I use 'liver' 'heart' 'retina' 'past' and 'future' far far too much, I think I should make some kind of self-promise to avoid these words for the next few weeks. Expanding my vocabulary has always been a priority yet I've never even thought that I could be so dense as to recycle words as much as I do.

    Though I think one thing could be expanded on your work here, It seems that another thing that we do is revert to a comfortable 'zone' of writing. Many of us (myself included) stick to one subject (usually love etc.) It would be very beneficial to extend the scope of practice in our writings too.
    | Posted on 2007-04-08 00:00:00 | by SlanderousLust | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    140016



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry