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    dots Submission Name: Looking Glassdots

    Author: Jessica Lynn
    ASL Info:    22/f/mn
    Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 121/119/57
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 803
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 702

       once upon a few years ago...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLooking Glassdots

    I look into the looking glass,
    I try to sort out my past.
    Wondering if I am who im not.
    I try to remember who i forgot.
    I take into consideration,
    when i called for the nation.
    I became of the world,
    and not in it.
    I judged death,
    though I have not lived it.
    And I try to realize and understand.
    Why no one wants to take my hand.
    So now Im lonely, and I have ran,
    from my life, love, liberty, freedom, and where I stand.
    The looking glass shadders,
    and I am but lost.
    I touch my face and feel only frost.
    The past is broken, so I cannot live.
    Will my future ever forgive me?

    Submitted on 2007-04-08 21:54:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow thats one hell of a message.. love it.. keep on writting !!

    | Posted on 2007-04-09 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      My dear girl, the future has only forgiveness and happiness promised to you, as long as you ask,
    and it doesn't seem you are far off doing that!

    | Posted on 2007-04-09 00:00:00 | by forfila | [ Reply to This ]
      a little loose in structure, but overall pretty good... I can definately see that the matter is something personal, but try not to loose touch of your command with the art just because the feelings run deep... take your time, close your eyes, and imagine your rhyme flowing like a stream and a cool spring day... and use your vocabulary alone to paint the picture... once you have the picture, express it in YOUR personal style. good write, could be better, take you time and imagine.

    P.S. has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely GORGEOUS?
    | Posted on 2007-04-08 00:00:00 | by psyko | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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