Description: meant to be a bit cute, and display an emotion I dislike and feel all too much
normally I don't explain pieces, but the main emotion i'm trying to convey is in the last line, rather than in the "bubble gum" of the rest of the poem
You're all talking jibberish
you're all talking bubble gum
you're all talking on whiskey and
rum
you borrow ideas and I
do too so
we don't make small talk over suns gone moons
sometimes my mind skips
sometimes you're all talking jibberish
it's not always so obvious
Well I like this poem but I don't like the way you wrote it on here. If I had wrote it I would have wrote it like this,
You're all talking
jibberish,
You're all talking
bubblegum,
You're all talking
on whiskey and rum.
You borrow ideas
And I do too
So we don't make small talk
Over suns gone moons.
Sometimes
my mind skips
Sometimes
You're all talking jibberish
And it's not so obvious.
Well again, I like it but like I said, I just don't like the way you wrote it. It's probably just me but I just thought I'd put in my two cents worth. Peace.
sometimes my mind skips
sometimes you're all talking jibberish
it's not always so obvious
it's not always obvious that it's jibberish? which would imply that perhaps you get so absorbed into the nonsensical silly small talk that you fail to recognise it for what it is.
we don't make small talk over suns gone moons
i find this line quite interesting. i take it to mean that you (well the "we") have changed from suns (producing your own light, ideas) to moons that merely reflect, but you all ignore it. or perhaps it means you fail to notice the changing of day to night, which could be symbolic for all kinds of sinister developments. actually, i think the latter meaning is closer to the mark.
i quite like the repetition, the way it reflects the repetitiveness of jibberish, the way it can't grow for it doesn't mean anything.
Submission Name: jibberish
