Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Alone I Use To Be (revised)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 651
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1287



    Description:
       To my soul mate.. my love.. Thank you dave, for being that certain someone


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlone I Use To Be (revised)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Alone I use to be!

    Until now ...

    Until fate unravled and we met..
    Now forever living in bliss

    With you along my side...
    And myself along your's

    Forever we shall stand as one
    Our lives with one another have yet begun!

    Threw it all we'll make it
    Making it out together in the end

    "Til' Death Do Us Part"

    We'll stand along one another's side!!

    Holding one up when needed...
    Being one anothers ears and eyes

    If nessary..

    For you always have my back
    As I have yours...

    Together as one we'll be whole...

    With a stronger bond..
    With stronger personalities..

    Can't you see we were ment to be.. to me
    Together, until the end of time.

    Though throughout death we'll be apart..
    Our sprits will unite together as one...

    And even now...
    When apart,

    We are with one another..
    In each others prencense!

    Our spirts combinde into one!




    Submitted on 2007-04-09 18:11:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This one definitely needs to be expanded quite a bit baby. It's basically one thought repeated a few different ways. Please add to this, because I really like the theme of it, but I want to hear so much more! It dripping with hints that you have so much more to say, but you cut it short for some unknown reason...

    Like you said, "'Till death do us part". You really think death could keep me from you? Not a chance! I will always find you, no matter what worlds we pass through. We are starcrossed, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

    -Dave
    | Posted on 2007-04-11 00:00:00 | by Wired | [ Reply to This ]
      Really good, it's really sweet and expresses good emotion...keep up the good work....! :)
    -Amber-
    | Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by never_far_away | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    140114

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry