I'm not entirely sure what ergoigo is talking about with ramblings on repetition and "selfserving." I loved it and feel like I can relate. I think a lot of women feel like this in reality, but let themselves be molded by society. I think what I like most is that this piece is blunt and straightforward, yet it's very dignified. The only part I didn't like was "What makes me so different from them?
Why am I such an unbearable threat to them?"
and also "Donít look at me like Iím wrong
Because I donít go to Victoriaís Secret and buy a hundred dollars worth of thongs"
I think you should keep talking about yourself. The initial image we get at the beginning is I am woman hear me roar, but with those lines we get I am woman and I say I don't care what others think but maybe I do a little bit because now I'm bringing it up. Stay on track with you just being you as a brilliant, beautiful, coffee loving woman who hates the mainstream and is obviously a class act.
This piece explains a lot of things girls feel and I think it's important people sit down and see the truth about a lot of what we feel. I think people often misunderstand what they're thinking and that's how mistakes are made. Like when you stay you cry when you feel alone, rather than when a man hasn't called you. I don't think people see the line there and what makes a difference. It's not that you cry for a different reason, it's the other girls think they're crying for a different reason, when really they are just too blinded to see the real reasoning behind their tears, but you're smart enough to know that it's more than the man.
Wow. I didn't think this comment would get this long. Maybe i just enjoy being a girl. Good job. Keep writing.
You have received some pleasant reviews on this piece but now I must hit you with a dose of reality. This piece was far too repetetive and obviously extremely selfserving. I stayed with it til the end in hopes that I would find something to make me feel invested in it. Alas, I never found that something.
You have confidence and a developing talent, Iris! This was good because it is honest, and it is you! It has warmth and genuinity to it, and it's a comfortable read! Gives the reader some insight into the mind of a talented and lovely gal!