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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: God's Angel .... Satin's Sondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 241
    Class/Type: Rant/Serious
    Total Views: 691
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1490



    Description:
       i did some changes on this take a peek


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGod's Angel .... Satin's Sondots
    -------------------------------------------


    You like play miss innocent
    Nothing you’ve done is ever worth mentioning
    See in your eyes your god’s angel
    And he is satin’s son!

    You won’t even admit… getting your hand caught in the cookie jar
    Let alone the fact that you have played the game of jepordy with this life of mine (your own child)…
    That you are the source of our current headach.

    I will no longer allow you to use me as your personal little scapegoat
    I will no longer be bribed into doing things out of empathy!
    You will no longer allow you to have this control over me

    And as for you…
    Satin’s Son
    You’ve done your share of pain… upon me

    I awake in the morning feeling less humane…
    Feeling worthless, hopelessness…

    And here you’ve killed my dreams
    Giving me deceitful hope

    In having that father figure around
    NO … instead you took an upper hand with me..
    Of the current situation

    Used my naive mind…
    Childish body…

    To indulge your sick thoughts…
    And here I have turned from
    An innocent little girl
    To your couple of fixes a night!

    You pull these strings others do not see

    You put on a performance in front of others
    But I know better
    For I see the true side of you at night

    When I cry out for comfort… but I do not receive any!




    Submitted on 2007-04-09 21:49:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "To indulge your sick thoughts…
    And here I have turned from
    An innocent little girl
    To your couple of fixes a night!"

    hope it is not real...
    i really wonder why a father would do that
    (even though i know that these things happen)
    | Posted on 2007-04-22 00:00:00 | by rubymoon | [ Reply to This ]
      Now tell us how you really feel! hehe. Seriously though, props on the re-write. I like this version much better. Your choices of words sounds much more "mature" and "accomplished" than the first version. The structure is great, and the emotional coloring comes through loud and clear. Inspires me to be very pissed off...

    -Dave
    | Posted on 2007-04-11 00:00:00 | by Wired | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! i really like this. it has great emotion, flow, and a unique sense of creativity. definitley favorite additon
    | Posted on 2007-04-09 00:00:00 | by Jessica Lynn | [ Reply to This ]


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