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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Painted Smiles dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Draigon
    ASL Info:    25/m/Al
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 164/196/91
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Misc/Society
    Total Views: 1236
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1148



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPainted Smiles dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hear their laughter,
    as they mask themselves in fake humor.
    Look at their smiles,
    as they put on their masks of happiness.
    Then take a look inside....
    Torment, anguish, and contempt
    all raging in a maelstrom behind those smiles,
    behind the laughter.
    Not very serene at all.
    Obscene thoughts run through their heads,
    thoughts of suicide and homicide.
    The portrait hides all of this,
    it paints a happy picture.
    All of this is plastic and porceilin.
    False, reality hidden behind a happy scene,
    not at all depicting the present situation.
    No one sees this deep though,
    we just go on about our ways,
    each of us hidding behind
    our own false portraits.
    Trying to make our lives look perfect,
    to the naked eye anyway.
    Just fake photos of our prestine selves,
    conjured with makeup, fake smiles,
    and fake laughter.
    All the Hell that we go through,
    is painted onto a canvas with a glossy effect
    that we call our true self.
    What a beautiful painting the world is.




    Submitted on 2007-04-10 12:16:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is a very lovely and well put peice...there are very few things that i think need editing,
    but i really love the feeling behind this

    I believe that you spelled porcelaine " porceilin"
    and there may have been a couple of other minor grammar things, but those really arent the focus here

    my most favorite line of the entire poem is
    "What a beautiful painting the world is."
    because that really is all we are

    i like the way that you didnt just say that the world and the people in it are fake, i think its awesome that you touched on them being just as tormented and anguished as the rest of us not so painted people

    there is one line that if it were up to me, i would change
    i would make
    "False, reality hidden behind a happy scene,"
    into
    "False, reality hidden behind a folding screen"

    simply because you emphasize happiness so much and how they are pretending to be happy and hiding behind the smiles, and sometimes just one litte thing over do it

    overall i love this peice, i think you did a great job
    keep writing, you could have a future in it

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-05-18 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      "Look at their smiles,
    as they put on their masks of happiness.
    Then take a look inside....
    Torment, anguish, and contempt"
    This is so very true, people are so [censored] fake, stupid mother [censored] [censored]s, i [censored] goddamn hate um.
    But at a point i think that everyone hides themselves down inside themselves, to cover unhappiness, and you can not paint your own image perfect, which people are far from, we all [censored] can't be like Jesus mother [censored] Christ.
    Great write,
    Peace.
    | Posted on 2007-04-11 00:00:00 | by WonderfulComa | [ Reply to This ]


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