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    dots Submission Name: Cationic Nightmaredots

    Author: gothicgirl
    ASL Info:    23/f/recreant world
    Elite Ratio:    3.49 - 127/111/48
    Words: 294
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 949
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1759

       Its random much like my memory of the whole thing anyway yeah...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCationic Nightmaredots

    You played with my mind making my convictions
    And insecurities a personal hell
    Twisting reality for your own sick pleasure
    Turning my nightmares into a game.
    Distorting what little perception I had
    While I chased my tail running, running in circles
    To find nothing but disappointment.
    I actually believed it was my fault
    I still do from time to time.
    Iím haunted by your face in what I thought
    Would be my only escape.
    Like spiders fangs to my skin your poison
    Goes directly into my veins, killing my emotions,
    Leaving me empty,
    No dead
    And I run, tail between my legs,
    Shaking, hoping, pleading, begging for
    Time to cease so that I may leave,
    So that I may pray for a miracle;

    Tears streak my face but Ií am silent.
    Please god, please Ií am sorry for whatever I have done!
    Please donít punish me, I cry.

    Itís all in your head, my resistance shows no bounds.
    Yet Ií am still,
    Cationic in my existence.
    The world is so fast, day by day passing,
    A new surreal reality that I created.
    The real world shattered
    by perversion and chaos
    and yet I was not yours to destroy.
    You will be annihilated by the alcohol
    You consume for blame for it happened
    And you can no longer deny
    for it is as real as this gun I hold to my head.
    Smiling I pull the trigger, my blood is on your hands,
    A single tear rolled down my cheek,
    Live with the guilt,
    My suicide is what leaves me shamed with selfishness
    But it is not as great as your shame
    Of sin to my body.

    Submitted on 2007-04-10 13:47:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      u truly have a masterpiece here.
    very sharp - like infinite blows to the back of the head. it cutz very deep
    it shows that reality can be very harsh.
    -- which is so true.

    its a reminder too me, that even the most
    painful acts like suicide, can only be understood
    by the person who commits such acts.
    left for the hurt to have no answers --
    if theres any answers in the first place.

    indeed very good write.

    this is going in my fav list
    | Posted on 2011-07-30 00:00:00 | by Bloodstone | [ Reply to This ]
      i know what it was about! ...and it still was down to perfection...i love the words you use. my brain is to lazy now to even grasp the consept of words that you use. well, when i am writing at least. i wouldn't think to use such words. haha anyhow...i love this poem, because i can definitely relate to it.
    | Posted on 2007-05-18 00:00:00 | by Frivilous _ | [ Reply to This ]
      Fabulous! I really like this, and am sorry to say that it is completely accurate. I made the mistake of accepting a 'boyfriend' not too long ago. You know the type, charming and good looking. He cheated on me after 4 days. Your description is perfect. I did for some idiotic reason feel like it was my fault. I don't know if that's what your poem is about, but I want you to know that's the way I related to it. Thank you for sharing.
    The Conqueror
    | Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by The Conqueror | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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