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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: We Drift Deeper, Life Goes Ondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DeepsLighter
    ASL Info:    17/f/Brazil
    Elite Ratio:    7.89 - 97/62/14
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Rant/Lostfriend
    Total Views: 914
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 711



    Description:
       yea i found this nice little sweet poem i wrote a few months ago
    and i was like wow thats cool
    and then i thought abt how things r now, and its completely different.
    so i changed the poem .. its now in past tense instead of present thinking about the future. the old version was filled with predictions and doubts. all the negative stuff came true.

    sad how life is, isn't it?


    *Just let it go, what now can never be*


    title is from one of my favorite songs by the way.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWe Drift Deeper, Life Goes Ondots
    -------------------------------------------


    We were around each other for years,
    We saw each other everyday
    but we never spoke.
    Until that day.

    That one day brought us together.
    We talked, we joked,
    we laughed, we went out.
    we got mad at each other all the time.

    I wondered .....
    I wondered if it would always be that way.
    I told myself it would.

    I was wrong.

    It's over now.
    Of course ....
    It was all superficial ...
    we spoke of everything,
    but never about things that get to us.

    And now ...
    I'm leaving.
    You don't give a damn.

    Why should I?




    Submitted on 2007-04-10 19:31:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Its an ok write. I mean its simplistic which is nice. And the ending really does linger, I agree with jcpdandalice. It seems really...like you did write it spur of the moment ages ago. There isnt that much "umph" in it, if you know what I mean. I really do like the ending, it works really well for the poem. But yeah, good write.

    -Randee
    | Posted on 2007-04-21 00:00:00 | by UnderlinedInRed | [ Reply to This ]
      all the lines cast in the shadows of indifference.

    excellent write...confessional, sentimental, abrupt and a perfect ending. The question sort of lingers in the air indefinitely, after it finishes, which I think functions perfectly with the subject matter.

    Funny how we are usually right about the negative, and then we have to bear with it.

    It sucks,

    but the good days will come.


    take care deeps
    | Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by jcpdandalice | [ Reply to This ]


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    140192

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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