(No Spam mail)
"the invisible enemy"
2.35 - 194/328/300
No vote yet.
"the invisible enemy"
how many times a day do the trees pass?
spine the wonderful light across them
the velvet morning expanding slow
and every other second a vacant memory cell
the sky seems to grave these hours
the subtle lines of my blue skin
spelling out the heartbeats
minute corridors into my secret brain
ash seems to be growing from fingers
old places to put away our dreams
simple boxes and the cedar eyes
with teeth around the folding edge
i have managed to master water
become as it is, through it
the perfect sliding smile of yesterday
still cupped in my hands unlike easter
placented from my darling chime
stowed inside countless lockets bent
it's not a question of time so much as reason
but how many times have we said that still waiting?
breathing every moment like they're flustered
feeling every piece of curling air
i'm still locked inside the chambers
of my heart, below me, photographed from the side
"the invisible enemy" is our inability to accept love
it is to be feared because it is so foreign
not in the sense of our ability to feel it
but in our ability to preserve its sacred flame
Submitted on 2007-04-11 00:19:08
Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Rate This Submission
2: I dunno...
4: Pretty cool
||| Comments |||
hmmm it was well written there's no argueing that but i dunno i didn't really like it. i suppose it just wasn't the flavor i'm used to with you. well written
| Posted on 2007-04-11 00:00:00 | by
Reply to This
Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [
1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?
Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
The Curtain Call
A bit of Pain
a leaf of shadow and edge
Not the Devil, but the Wind
When Sirens Whisper
// Seasonal Song
Across the bed
A Thousand Reflections
Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth
Things They (Don't) Say
no sky on the other side
Sword in the Water
A Worsening Effect
Enter your search terms
Submit search form
January 10 07
I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my
[ Smaller ]
[ Bigger ]