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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: but...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Thief
    ASL Info:    22/male/plainview
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 180/80/69
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 509
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 394



    Description:
       this goes to my ex.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsbut...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    you dont realize it
    but i still love you
    i say i dont care
    but trust me...i do
    you may not look "all that"
    but you are like everything to me
    at a time i hated you
    but like you, i was too blind to see
    i wanted to hear your voice
    but that made things worst
    you've done nothing
    but you gave me a curse....




    Submitted on 2007-04-11 13:49:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      hi buddy...
    the grammar is topsy-turvy...
    the line "but your like everything to me"
    should read you are like everything...

    "and at a time i hate you?" - couldn't make any sense of that line...you need to revise this one soon...its promising...try to add a little length and express more as to why the state...

    cheers
    as i am
    adi
    | Posted on 2007-04-11 00:00:00 | by psychoneurosis | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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