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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cycledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: metalman_21
    ASL Info:    17/m/NE
    Elite Ratio:    2.58 - 30/42/17
    Words: 203
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Angry
    Total Views: 1008
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1480



    Description:
       This is a song i've recently written. I know my writing sucks, but at least i'm givin it a try. Hope to hear positive feedback!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCycledots
    -------------------------------------------


    -Cycle-

    Chorus:
    Not knowing what's gonna happen tomorrow,
    just makes today more fun.
    Not knowing what's gonna happen with us now,
    just makes you stay on "run".
    You gotta keep learnin what happens next,
    or you'll be left out.
    Don't get trapped in the cycle.
    The dancing circle of doubt.

    Verse 1:
    Never knowing what can happen next,
    we live day to day.
    Always runnin,
    always gunnin,
    for a place to stay.
    But these are the new words,
    of a generation.
    If we die tomorrow,
    we become the history of the nation.

    (Chorus)

    Verse 2:
    Only time can tell what happens next.
    Life just fades away.
    Always slowin,
    always goin,
    to start a new dam day.
    But this is the right time,
    to start the revoloution.
    There no telling what will happen to us.
    No fuckin resoloution.

    (Chorus)
    (End line of chorus screamed "This fuckin cycle of doubt")

    Breakdown:
    And I can't see tomorrow.
    It slowly drifts away.
    The mist of this new promise land,
    dies with the new day.
    There's no more time left.
    It's time for the break.
    I'll still be standing here waiting,
    (scream)FOR MY SOUL TO AWAKE!

    (Chorus)




    Submitted on 2004-06-11 22:11:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I would say that this doesn't suck! And btw, welcome to the site!

    You definitely have some heavy emotion in this piece, eh?!? I really have no good suggestions for once... just keep it up and I'm excited to see some of your work.
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by mixedemotions00 | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think your writing sucks based on this. I think you have some universal ideas, but you've put your own twist to it. I like -Dancing in the circle of doubt- but I guess you can't incorporate that in. Anyway, nice work
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      In these lyrics, are you just tired of everything reapeting? I must say that this was very passionate about what you felt. People can relate to this emotion. Sometimes, i often feel like this and feel sick. Of everything and everyone. Kind of like today. I'v been in a bad mood and just sick of it!
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by Broken heart dies | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    14026

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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