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The Fallacy of Syncopation

Author: clovernfoxglove
Elite Ratio:    6.13 - 134 /145 /43
Words: 144
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1342
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 986


The Fallacy of Syncopation

Rising from the fallen dusk
the scents of night
and sacred trust

Forgotten, is the light of day
with the taste of freedom
come what may.

Over mountain paths
we've trod
the restless dreaming
as feet meet sod

We sway in syncopated motion
as the breaking waves of the angry ocean.

the rythmic march not yet complete
our rythmic march not yet complete.

Hidden in the grassy peace
we search the hillsides
and see no beast

but waiting is the ancient fright
we fail to see Him
cloaked in Night

With our fate
so sorely missed
we come to reaalize
far too late

We sway in syncopated motion
as the breaking waves of the angry ocean

At last

our rythmic march complete
the rythmic march complete.

Submitted on 2007-04-11 17:58:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Clover. I like the syncopated feel of this one. I think as a whole the piece is strong. The second stanza, though, is not clicking for me. It seems very awkwardly punctuated and the last line of it seems to have been thrown on as an after thought instead of as a natural growth of the poem. Maybe I'm reading that part wrong. Aside from that, yeah. A strong piece.
| Posted on 2007-04-14 00:00:00 | by DavidHirt | [ Reply to This ]

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