Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Motivesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EmilyAnne
    ASL Info:    18/f/tx
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 65/73/20
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 912
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1210



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMotivesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Someone knocks on the door
    The clock strikes three
    A dog barks in the night

    She knows who it is
    She knows why hes come
    He wont let her forget

    She walks slowly to the door
    He knocks once again
    The kitchen sink drips

    She wants to cry
    She wants to run back to bed
    Hes way past impatient

    He yells her name
    She unlocks the door
    She turns the handle

    Shes scared for her life
    His eyes are worse than darkness
    She knows she deserves this

    He storms in straight for her
    He grabs her by the throat
    She feels her life slip away

    Hes a man of revenge
    She did him worng in more ways than one
    he feels this is right

    her dead body fell to the floor
    He killed her out of love
    He pulled out the gun

    His love was so strong for her
    She betrayed him without guilt
    She knew she would pay

    He put the gun to his head
    He pulled the trigger
    She was no longer anybodys...thats all that mattered








    Submitted on 2004-06-11 22:22:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Whoa...Great free verse. This made me proud. I see that our little writting excercise helped. lol. This was a very powerful poem and you did wonderfuly. Great job and keep it up.

    Semper
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by Semper Fidelis | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn. This poem is excellent. I like how you added the description of the environment around the girl, too. Like "the kitchen sink drips".. it kind of adds to the scene. This is definately a great poem and I don't see any need for improvement. Thanks for posting it, I liked it!
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by Lil Nick | [ Reply to This ]
      o help her jesus!

    I hope this is an over exerted imagination..
    it seemed very real.

    If this is a figment of your imagination, it was amazing..

    If not, I am truly truly sorry,and I will have to pray for you...

    Either way it makes for an amazing write, a bit chilly but good nonetheless.
    ORA
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by Oracle | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    14027

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry