Spoken Silence by crimson echo

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Submission Name: Spoken Silence dots

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Author:	crimson echo
ASL Info:	19 M U.S. of A
Elite Ratio:	8 - 412/149/55
Words:	166

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Longing
Total Views:	266
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1074

Description:
Dedicated to an angel in her own right

Spoken Silence dots

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Spoken Silence

Hard to say what I think of you right now:
every word is a mystery beyond my capacity to explain.
First a mute, now a voice that I don't know.
Left in silence I stand; can you help me? Can I just understand?

To quantify this;
but I'll never know.

Refrain
And this human race is not a race at all;
only tired children, afraid and alone.
Hear the beating of my bloodstained heart:
can you give me reason to hear that voice again?

Traitorous words: I speak, you turn your eyes.
Afraid to hurt, I hide and keep my peace.
I'm caught within this desecrated heart,
stolen away past all reasoned hope of recovery.

But I don't need it;
I don't need it.

Refrain
And this human race is not a race at all;
only tired children, afraid and alone.
There's the beating of my bloodstained heart:
can you give me reason to hear that voice again?

Submitted on 2007-04-12 07:24:58 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  wow, i really like this..
my bloodstained heart
"desecrated heart"
"stolen away past all reasoned hope of recovery"
i love those lines...
a very interesting write..
love it

Bella
| Posted on 2007-09-06 00:00:00 | by IsabellaAurora | [ Reply to This ]
  Nicely done, I always wonder what the melody sounds like when I read lyrics, and I just can't imagine on this one. (That's not a bad thing). It sounds a little emo (especially "blood stained heart"), but being a Bright Eyes fan, that's a compliment. This is emotion that isn't containable, and I think the song does a good job expressing that.

stolen away past all reasoned hope of recovery.

Perhaps you could say something like "stolen with no hope of recovery." As you've written it, it's a little redundant. If you don't think that has enough syllables or whatever, you could tweak it. (You can always add something like "oh" or "yeah" to make it longer).

I'm caught within this desecrated heart

Maybe you could say soul because you've already spoken so much about your heart.

I'm sorry for the horrible comment.

I hope all is well,
Amy

| Posted on 2007-04-24 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  Omg this could be such a great song !! really wish i could hear it with the music etc. Nice work mate. Sorry im not commenting more, swamped with work. x

~lou~
| Posted on 2007-04-17 00:00:00 | by elseibi | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't get it.

it sounds nice, but I don't get it.

explanation maybe?
| Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by andthebandgoes | [ Reply to This ]
  This was the 2nd piece of yours that I have read and I must admit that this one didn't grip me in quite the same way as the first. I don't know, perhaps this was just a tad more presumtuous than the first one.
| Posted on 2007-04-12 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
  THis would make an awesome song, as it appears to have been intended for. The longing is deep and makes me want to cry. Very powerful.

~orange
| Posted on 2007-04-12 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
  If you're going to take the time to read it, COMMENT! I am sick of you people skimming through something then going on about your business. After all, you want comments on your stuff, right? NEVER READ unless you intend to COMMENT.

--crimson echo
| Posted on 2007-04-12 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]

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